A GARDEN OF SORROW

And a Garden of Compassion

Isaiah 53:6 "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all."

Luke 23:34: from the words of Christ on the Cross of Calvary: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Good Friday 2025

I still cannot comprehend WHY God, the perfect Creator of the universe, would send His Son, Jesus Christ into this fallen world. He willingly came into the staggering, filthy mess humans have made of this world. Christ entered as a helpless baby, not as a conqueror. Why would He love us, especially that much??

Christ lived 33 years and His ministry was 3 years of teaching and healing and providing miracles! Reading of Christ's agony in the Garden of Gethsemane before His betrayal, arrest, trial and crucifixion, I always tear up, shaking my head in wonder and how much I feel undeserving of Him. He tells the three Disciples with him, in Matthew 16:38, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death, tarry ye here and watch with me." ( They, heavy with sorrow, all fell asleep.) In His great distress, He was actually sweating drops of blood...as He falls on His face on the ground, crying out to His Father, asking if " this cup can be removed from me." I think His suffering was the enormity of what He was called to do, to endure the torment at the hands of fallen humans , who spat on the only One Who could save them! The physical pain was difficult enough, but I think Gethsemane reflects the upcoming weight of all the darkness humans have hurled at one another throughout history and being placed directly on the sinless One who actually loved us all. Not fair does not come remotely near to answering this.

This is where I have stumbled so deeply almost all my 72 years. WHY, WHY, WHY are we so loved??

I still have no answer. I don't hate myself anymore but I still cannot comprehend this love and I still lack deep self-worth.

One thing I have often said, for each of us out there is a brick wall with our name on it. My brick wall is the struggle over having enough money without a constant run and maintaining a balanced self-worth. Relentless, daunting, depressing, overwhelming.

And yet I still breathe. I still use the gift of words that Papa God gave me. I still attempt to "encourage the discouraged," as God told me to do. What good I do with this, I do not yet know... but I keep on, because GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME.

I have a decent roof over my head, I have food to eat daily, I have clothes to wear, I have a humble working car to get me the few places I have to go, I have all my senses, health, strong intuition and high intelligence. Most importantly I have a wonderful small church and my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life because I have repented of sin. I have asked God to forgive me and for Christ to come into my heart and dwell there with me.

What's my problem?? I don't want stuff...no huge house, no fancy car, no luxury clothes, no expensive anything...and yet I struggle. I just don’t feel worthy of Him.

I cling and hold fast to God and will not let go, especially remembering a chunk of my past, in which I was a Prodigal. I spent many years as a sorrowful rebel to my Christian faith. I learned my awful lesson of refusing to bring my sadness DIRECTLY to God! He does not want “slaves”, He wants sons and daughters, relationship, family!

I do not want what the world offers. That is surface and temporary.

The world has so many " lures": money, influence, power, possessions, surface beauty and intelligence. These remain a formidable drain on so many of us, calling for our focus, our devotion, our money and resources. These are difficult to turn away from. I absolutely " get it."

This is where the presence of God comes in. God does not have limitations and He "never loses."

We are reminded that in the horror of Good Friday, there was the tumbling down of what Christ's disciples hoped would be His triumph, that instead turns into the seemingly staggering defeat and humiliation. This is the devil's fall. He lies, he lies all day. He thought he had defeated God's Son. He overplayed his hand as he always does.

Christ dies on that tree of Calvary, seemingly in ignoble defeat and spends a short time attending to business in the devil's lair, hell. He not only frees captives, He takes back the keys of hell and of death from the devil directly. He takes charge.

Then, the topping of all toppings, He has the audacity to rise from the dead after three days, as no grave could hold Him! The moment He died, the thick veil that divided the ordinary people from the Holy of Holies in the Jewish temple, was torn in half. What a scene that would have been (I want to see the video of THAT when I get Home!!)

This tearing of the veil allowed us “ordinaries” to have direct access to help and succor and provision from our very Creator and His Son! We do not need to go through a priest or church official, we can do directly!

My Pastor said last Wednesday evening , to pray "with, instead of to." What a difference that can make. Christ is our Intercessor from Heaven, where He sits at the right hand of the Father and prays for us! I can barely wrap my mind around that...and yet it is true. I have a Heavenly Advocate that prays for me! Can you comprehend this??? I can also pray WITH Him!

This is a holy partnership. This is what Christ reminded me of yesterday. He effectively joins me in my humble prayers. He reminds me that He INTERCEDES for me from Heaven and I also pray a lot for others!! This is a very profound thing, that my Savior would pray for me before the Father. I need this so desperately! My repeated prayers are "Thank You, I love You, and HELP!"

Wendy Elizabeth Williams Good Friday, April 18, 2025

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Wendy Elizabeth Williams