A PILE OF QUARTERS IN AN AVALANCHE OF PEBBLES

God's leading, from lack to abundance

• Lamentations 3:22-23 "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning, great is thy faithfulness."

  James 2:5 "Listen, beloved, hath not God chosen the poor of this world, rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?"  

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  Who would think out of the sorrowful Bible book of Lamentations, there would be verses of hope?  This book is  after the also difficult book of Jeremiah, as the "weeping Prophet" sorrowfully struggled with the children of Israel, God's people who would not return to the calling of God, Who called  them as His chosen people.     

• As one who has spent so many years in financial lack, I crave the mercy of God! So much of my own personal ministry and writings here on Substack are aimed at looking back on the many mistakes I made in life, especially in the chaos of the sexual revolution of my youth (from the long view of my past, as I am now an Elder, 72) and hoping my writing will help someone else avoid what I went through. I also speak to the brokenhearted poor, like myself.  God does not scold or harass or beat me up emotionally.  He is truly the loving Father I always craved...

In a post several weeks ago, Holy Spirit gave me the phrase “an avalanche of pebbles” and it resonated so much with me, I am keeping it as a self-description. So many of us who struggle with money, do not consider ourselves much needed in society and the “avalanche of pebbles” just spoke to my soul, as even a bunch of falling pebbles can create a positive movement!

• God as usual, tailors my growth and help directly to me, my life experience  (rebel, Prodigal, up-down-sideways emotionally), my temperament (see previous line), my current situation (see previous line and my technique of Master Scrambler Survivor), my history (definitely see previous line and hopefully don't weep...) and my needs at the moment (still scrambling, hopeful to not be an egg for the rest of my life in service to Him and His Son). God is not a dusty-fusty old man. He is magnificent and He rolls with each of us day by day. This is not theory or ideas, this is real, blunt and realistic life. Life, if you have not noticed in 2024, is not neat and tidy and orderly. It has much upheaval and disorder, with times of rest in between. 

• It has been awhile since I wrote another piece in my original series called "Love Letters to the Poor: hidden gems among the brokenhearted."  I am one of those, both a hidden gem and a brokenhearted one.  Since my daily life continues to grow slowly in the immense mercy of Papa God, I take the slow forward movement in short hops of  "wow...I guess I actually am making progress..."  It does take awhile to get things to sink in past the top level of intellect and into my HEART.   Let me explain.

• Holy Spirit recently pointed out a handful of things to me that reminded me that...yes, W.E.W., I am actually moving forward, even if not at "lightspeed".  

  For one who has spent so long in "head down in survival mode", any bright spots I just might miss...because, well, duh...YOU ARE LOOKING DOWN!  

  Sigh and more sigh. 

• Holy Spirit gently pointed out my laundry quarter cup:  it actually has quarters for two whole weeks in it. In advance.  Ridiculous to think about that at my Elder age, but being poor, you do not plan much, not expecting to make forward progress. I usually slowly collect laundry quarters one at a time through each week in prep for the next laundry day.  "Well, yes, Holy Spirit, You are correct", as I looked at the more than half-full cup. (please note that quarters are like gold for me...and even in recent history, God brings quarters to me more and more, out in the world, on the ground! )

• Also, God brought me an unexpected modest bounty of more access to some funds for food.  Food is so primal, especially as I get older and while I have not been hungry, I am acutely aware of how much things cost in 2024.  I did not expect to live to older age and did not have the wherewithal or much ability to plan beyond the current month. At least I was wise enough, after very painful learnings, to cut up my credit cards and am not in debt of any kind!  God's absolute miracle!!

•  I also have the steep and incredible privilege of having a slowly growing amount of paid subscribers to my humble writings here on Substack, which is God's HUGE miracle for someone like me!  I am truly astonished that anyone would part with even $5 a month to read my writing work, my pouring out of my heart and soul in the heartfelt hope to prevent suffering for someone else.  It means more than words can say and I take nothing for granted, never! I pray that I will prosper enough to be able to contribute to others on Substack!

• These are tiny things...and yet, this is a realistic display of the goodness of God, even in what might seem to the big world, inconsequential things. 

  Not to me and not to the brokenhearted.

  Do I want a mansion to live in?  No

  Do I want a luxury car to drive?  No

  Do I want haute couture clothing?  No, even though I am fascinated by the beauty of high fashion garments.

  Do I want to impress the "whomever"???  Heck NO!  I am a street-smart and self-taught rowdy rebel from times past, one year of college and learned by doing, an expert scrambler...not impressive to many except fellow scramblers and rebels.  (Where are you??? Are any of you here on Substack or Notes?? D-M. me! )

• Holy Spirit, the Great Teacher, knows what method of teaching I need: slow, gentle, focused, patient, clear, merciful and He repeats the lessons, thank YOU!!  

  We get so intent on what is in front of us and forget to ASK God to help!  We are accustomed to "I can do it", we forget to use the help God offers us. How we labor unnecessarily!  I am a chief offender in this and I have paid a stern price for my reluctance to simply set down my battle sword (not the Sword of the Spirit, which is the one I really need!) and just say "Papa God, I cannot do this on my own!  I have tried so hard, tried so hard, tried so hard...and I simply cannot keep up with the demands of the world, especially as I get older!  Please please please HELP ME!" He, sitting there next to me...says "YES, finally, let Me help you!!" 

• (Note to selves...this involves listening, repenting quickly...and trying something new day by day as directed by Holy Spirit). Oh that...and yes, THAT must be combined for this to work!  Trust me,  I have tried to negotiate with God on this... and He is more stubborn than I am, thankfully! Nope:  listen, pour out your sorrows, repent quickly, try it His way one more time...He lets you repeat the tests!

•  I remember one of the great old hymns of my childhood in the Baptist church and one of my beloved Mother's favorite hymns,  "What a Friend we have in Jesus", that encourages us to remember: 

  "What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear , what a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer.  What a peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer." 

•  What IMMENSE words of wisdom and comfort, desperately needed by this sorrowful world of so much woe.

• While I may never be hugely wealthy, I do have what I need day by day: food, clothing, shelter. I also have... hot water and a soothing shower daily, a comfortable bed to sleep in, all my senses and limbs and reasonably good health, a faithful car to carry me on the short hops of daily life, and peace and quiet. I have a wonderful small warrior church fellowship of brothers and sisters in Christ who are imperfect humans just like me and are traveling the roads to Home alongside me. God has given me a gift of words, to encourage, to help and to bind up the brokenhearted.  

• If you are brokenhearted as you read this...you are NOT alone and if you struggle with finances like I have, grab hold of God's dear hand and get to know Him and His great love that flows out to help you day by day. He created you and He gave you gifts only you have in all the world! Write down what you hear Him tell you and begin to day by day, travel with Him in relationship, not "religion." He will guide you to Bible verses that will help you.

• Wendy Elizabeth Williams  November 15, 2024

• --Consider becoming a paid subscriber for $5 a month ($1.25 a week)

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  -Consider retaining me to do some of what I am good at,"emotional -descriptive" writing. Authentic emotion can be an honorable tool for presenting your work and business. I think of myself, who is not that much impressed by so much marketing out there, which seems repetitive and boring and not real. I am affected by sincerity and real-ness, especially  in the field of fabric, garments and beauty. Very affordable prices! Contact me via D-M here on Notes. I would love to link with fellow lovers of fabric and garments who are also Conservative Christians!

  --Please pray for me, that I clearly hear the voice of Holy Spirit as he guides me in my writing!

  Wendy