A SPRINTER IN AN ENDURANCE RACE:
Some Dumbfounding things of God
Luke 12:32: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Psalm 2:2-4: “The kings of the earth set themselves and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord, and against His anointed, saying, Let us break their bands asunder and cast their cords from us. He that sits in the heaven shall laugh, the Lord shall have them in derision.”
I’m a spelunker now, apparently, digging for treasure!
In the realm of dumbfounding things God the Father has told me, here’s a tidbit:
In my daily journey of relationship with Papa God, I “flop on the couch” with Him, sometimes pouring out my heart and sometimes just sitting and listening and writing down what He tells me.
He astonished me a few months ago. He knows my lifelong struggles with finances and clutter, always in a sea of paper, interested in many things but not enough order! He said “there’s millions of dollars hidden in your room!”
I am certain He is speaking of my writing ideas, snippets and “avalanches of pebbles” that resonate with my soul and spirit and the more than seven decades, nearly 73 years of my life experiences and difficult learnings from the school of hard knocks. Somewhere in this mess is order and ideas to help and encourage others who are also struggling and in despair. Since I myself am intimately acquainted with that sorrowful emotion, I am very sensitive to the sadness of others. I don’t seek “stuff “ or surface flaunting or influence. I want to find ways to lift pain and sadness, because of my own past. I remain a deep empath. I am also most definitely a sprinter, short-hops type. I get tired easily, always have and the sprinter temperament works for me and resonates with my soul.
“ Go fast” is a core pronouncement of modern American culture, a simmering sea of demands to not lollygag anytime, being admonished that “time is wasting, time is valuable, time is MONEY.”
Gee, I didn’t know that?? How unusual and unique...why can’t I do that??? How fast am I to go, anyway???
Nope.
I once ran a 50-yard dash in 6.8 seconds, way back in 6th or 7th grade. That was not too shabby!
Sprinter is my temperament, short hops and then l need to stop and regroup.
I instinctively knew early on that I would not resonate with the “Demando-Plenty” mode and crowd. I was intelligent, about 119 IQ, above average...but way below average in “strive and drive”. Getting flattened by the mob was not my idea of fun. I am not competitive.
I think many people out there either get crushed psychologically or emotionally or physically and fall under the waves of condemnation and pressure of the thundering herd swirling around us. They give up, retreat into the anodynes of alcohol, drugs, sex, even some dissolute behavior. I did this for quite awhile in younger days. I am frankly, amazed I am still alive, with negativity in both parents, especially Dad, who was not Mr Sunshine. He did provide and I bless him for keeping a roof and food for us (and Mom worked also) but his outlook was not uplifting. Mom was kind and compassionate (also a Registered Nurse) but she was vulnerable to sorrowful moods (sounds familiar). I think I learned tears from her!
All of us have mud to walk through, none are free from arduous journeys of one kind or another.
The longer I have “hung out” with God and His Son and Holy Spirit, I have seen that RELATIONSHIP, not “religion” is the key to following and staying with God. When you “know” Someone, you can more deeply resonate and relax with Them.
God, while He is Creator and Father and the One in charge of the Universe, also (and here’s another Dumbfounding thing), He actually seems to enjoy visiting with His children, and by children, I mean those who have repented of sin and asked Christ to come into our hearts and make us clean. I just sit every night with my notebook and pen, and what has happened since December of 2017 is more than astonishing to someone as unstable (meaning up, down and sideways) as me.
The phrase “flopping on the couch with Papa” came to me and that is exactly how I experience my nightly visits with Papa. It is informal. While I am certainly reverent and profoundly respectful, I also can be real and myself with Him. This is the most priceless thing in the Universe, a relationship with the One Who made you and advocates for you. He gave you gifts!
#1 assignment: find and begin to utilize the unique gifts your Heavenly Father gave you!
It is a stark and sobering realization that I have both the capacity to make this miracle of financial blessings manifest, locating the “ millions of dollars” hidden in my room and utilizing the slow steady actions needed to bring these gifts to fruition...or I can dilute and drain these blessings by...WORRY.
God has gently warned me about this on more than one occasion. God does not scold or strike me with a stick... but He does offer the cold steel of reality and “holy parameters. “ He leads me step by step, read Psalm 23!!
I am not accustomed to succeeding. I do not try for long enough. Sprinter, you know!
I’m at a crossroads...
Talk about a (very) late bloomer...I am not ancient but I am far from young. How ridiculous I seem...and yet my 2739 days of “ flopping on the couch with Papa” have clearly revealed to me that God is such a good Father...and He has good gifts for His children and He lives beyond time and space.
Perhaps there is hope left for me...and a real place of refuge for this weary sprinter in need of encouragement herself. I am willing to share! Find your couch in your spirit, flop down, and begin to talk to Papa God, His Son and Holy Spirit and as you get to know Them, your life can change for the better! They actually love you and KNOW things, good things for you, slow but sure!
Wendy Elizabeth Williams, Friday, October 24, 2025
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Yep.
Dear Sister Wendy,there has been an inner change in my focus on the goals of life. I've never been ambitious in the career sense. I never wanted to have babies. Other people get on my nerves so it's lucky really that I am relatively socially isolated. Why do you other people get on my nerves. Dont get me started! Now in 2024 the garden beds outside the block of flats I live in (apartment block in American- English!)were uncovered after being under scaffolding for 18 months as our block was fully refurbished. The workmen replaced our windows. ( I liked the old ones better). They drilled in the walls. They did all sorts. I privately think they also installed surveillance equipment but maybe thats going too far into the realm of fantasy! So id decided and told everybody that if pack in gardening in the garden beds which I had tended for about 18 years previous. But after about four months with the beds getting more derelict and litter strewn I got out there and dug and cleared and actually it gave me that freedom to totally redesign the garden. I planted it up,there is room for a few more things but both garden beds look complete. In 2025,this year all my work and my 20 years of preparation won in out. All through April,May,June well even I couldnt believe the transcendent beauty of it. I planted it. But obviously God grew it. It was PERFECT. My fellow residents loved it. Some has always been supportive but even the indifferent NOTICED. And me,was I happy. No. Do you know that saying of Gertrude Stein,.."there is no THERE there..".. it's often applied to Fame and it's true. Ive read a lot of biographies of famous,successful people who we all thought had the world at their feet and they reveal they actually felt lost and confused and like there was nothing under them and it was a dangerous illusion. I think The Evil One influenced me. To undermine my success that God had facilitated. I stopped gardening. I left the garden beds. I didn't water. I felt angry. How can these flowers be so beautiful yet I am despised and alone and no one wants to have a conversation with me. I became filled with resentment. All summer I knew I was turning away from God and taking the wrong path. Then just a few days ago the urge to garden was so strong I went outside and started and people were happy to see me out there. And NOTHING had died. That shows my skill,given me by God,for choosing the right plants for the situation. A few showers of rain have brought on the very few things that were held back by the dry. BUT I think I needed that break for two reasons. One: one or two smirky stupid (imo) used to make me feel that I was wasting my time. I didn't actually care but people like that who think THEY are super smart can very well project that you are The Village Idiot and I don't respond because then I WOULD end up looking stupid. You with your sharp tongue could cut them down to size. Ooh,what a gift! The most annoying aspect was how these people could project that THEY THOUGHT I was gardening for their approval and validation,and of course by withholding their validation they were taking away all validity from my work. The other reason is that I've known for years that worldly success is not what God wants me to be or aim for. Now I WAS NOT doing the gardens for worldly success but it's easy to get so drawn into your plan that it takes up too disproportionate a place in your mind,it shoves God to the sidelines. Now I've come back to God + I know He wants me to go on gardening I'm going to keep it at an appropriate level. On the evening I resumed gardening I had an evening visit from a resident here. This woman,same age as me though she thinks I'm at least 10 years younger,she came to.see me and tried to warn me off. From concern for me. When she first moved in here a year or so after me she was a Rolling Drunk,Permanently Pissed. If I ever got in the lift and she got in I dreaded that she'd hug me and embrace me. Not sexual understand,just friendly. But she was so strong..Her embrace was like a vice grip. It would have been impossible for me to free myself if she hadn't let me go. Like you her brother died and it hit her hard. Im making my place sound awful but it's not. And this lady is a good protective friend of me but she blurred out in the course of conversation...".no body here likes you
...then kind of blustered and waffled and I pretended I hadn't heard. I must say she is not drinking now (well not much). It has had serious health effects on her but like I say she is physically strong. She is a big hearted person. But what I thought was ..." I know nobody here likes me but so what, that's no reason I can't garden. Do we have to be popular to pass exams,or be in employment or do things. Actually studies have proved that amiable,likeable,attractive people are more likely to be employed as who would you rather have round the office all day!! I've gone on as usual but I've resumed gardening until God takes it out of my hands not for anybody else (that's a bonus) and I want it to reflect God's Glory. Which it is doing.