AN AVALANCHE OF PEBBLES
An underestimated power, offering help, accepting help
From Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, The White Rider, as Gandalf discusses with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, how Merry and Pippin have met Treebeard, the Ent tree guardian and how their arrival sets momentous things in motion:
"It was not in vain that the young hobbits came with us...They were brought to Fangorn and their coming was like the falling of small stones that start an avalanche in the mountains. "
As a 40+ year member of the working poor, while I have not joined the "elite" or the "achievers" of the material world, I am a strong survivor and empath, very resourceful and observant. Just as Tolkein speaks of the unexpected arrival of Merry and Pippin at Fangorn Forest and therefore helping to set the tree-like Ents in motion to block the evil assailing them from the nearby fallen wizard Saruman, two un-noticed and underestimated pebbles become an avalanche.
I am among the invisibles of the world: lower income and mostly fixed, Elder female, no formal worldly power or surface influence, no great achievements but plenty of survival and street smarts. The world of 2024 seems to rattle even more bluntly and does not seem inclined to be interested in the thoughts or life experiences I have had in 71 yrs. That is OK, as not everyone will resonate with my life and experience. Any creative person out there learns this difficult lesson. As searing as the difficulty of the world can feel, especially to an empath and sensitive soul, I find a solid refuge with God and His Son. I have a purpose, even a small one, that means something to me and I am a conduit to be a blessing of encouragement to someone out there. God clearly told me to "encourage the discouraged."
Self-worth, especially in Western culture, is largely woven with money and power, of which I have little place within it.
I live in God's household, a Servant's Heart place, a place to " bind up the brokenhearted " and be a channel for the healing love of God. This is compassion, empathy and encouragement. This was a core part of the Earthly mission of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is not a “top dog” place, to run roughshod over lessers. I remain humble, I serve, I honor God. I am as King David described in Psalm 84:10 , " a doorkeeper in the House of my God.”
My fondest prayer through my trembling step out into asking for some paid subscriptions or donations via KoFi, is to not only nudge myself into one small action but to also aim my pebble into the lives of a handful of other Substack writers who are in the same boat. I have no idea if people of lower income write or read on Substack. I only know that I do. I will start my pledge on Ko fi, with a tiny sum of $1 and see who I can accept a blessing from and who I can bless as well. My Substack monthly subscription is at $5, $1.25 a week.
Pebble by pebble...
I salute with humility, the sorrowful, honorable poor, as we have value that is more hidden from the dominance of the world. Asking for paid subscriptions is scary for people like me, who have long dwelt in the background. Background, nothing wrong with that...and yet I need to grow as well, despite my clinging to the caves I have dwelt in for so long. At age 71, time is moving on and time to reach beyond my emotions.
Even the phrase "paid subscribers" scares the heck outta me. Since part of my writing includes some blunt pieces of "love letters to the poor", my own tumultuous history in money lack is extremely primal. I have had a few breaks along the way but none that “took” or remained with me for long. I just did not have the “dynamo” spirit that translated into money or influence.
I know the utter despair of poverty, the intense and despairing feelings of "overwhelm".
For me, and I suspect many others of lower income, part of the core of it is lack of deep self-worth. This does not mean I debase the dynamo of type A temperament or climbing huge mountains or achieving huge goals or that I actually hate myself. I do not. This is simply, quietly saying "I am here, I was created by God and I have experiences and gifts to offer. I sincerely desire to be a blessing to others."
What do people want? Acknowledgement, humanity, courtesy, kindness, dignity.
If I can offer any of that to you through the vehicle of my written words, I would humbly ask you to consider becoming a paid subscriber ( $5 a month) or offering a tip of what you can afford via Ko-fi, $1 base, either one time periodically or monthly as you can.
Believe me, I viscerally understand the value of even $1. I know the experience of counting coins, sometimes down to the penny. I am experienced in frugal and will respect your offering!
Dollar Tree (well, $1.25 Tree, now), is a good friend and helper to me. $1 is almost to $1.25, which is most of the cost of a bottle of dish soap, a tube of toothpaste, a container of dental floss, a bar of soap, a box of garbage bags. Each small thing builds on the other.
I am thankfully not in debt of any kind, as I cut up all my credit cards back in 2002 and have lived on cash and debit ever since. As a former addictive personality, I cannot be trusted with Visa/Mastercard! As scary as it is to not have the "cushion" of credit cards, I am at least not sweating paying Visa/MC. I live day by day and month by month. The “rent mountain” is always my biggest pressure.
The avalanche of pebbles I seek is an honorable one. It is my profound desire to be a blessing to any who read my Substack and resonate with what I write about. If I can offer a moment of encouragement to you, I will do that. I will also pledge to donate in small amounts, to the Ko-Fi accounts of others, even $1 or $2 at a time, as I can help others. As I gradually build my ability to prosper in my soul, I will most definitely become a paid subscriber of a few Substack writers.
I humbly invite you to join me and add your own pebble to this quest to bless and be blessed. Help me keep the flow going on, outward from each of us.
As Holy Spirit said to me when I finished my writing of this piece:
“INVEST YOUR PEBBLES!
CELEBRATE TINY VICTORIES!
BIND UP THE BROKENHEARTED!”
Here is my Ko-Fi page, for donations or tips and to also offer what I call “emotional-descriptive writing” for fellow creative folks, especially on subjects I resonate with, like fabric, garments and style. Very very affordable! Ko-fi.com/wendyelizabethwilliams