AN OFFER I DID REFUSE

                                                               

In my life as a profoundly affected and wounded  participant of the chaos that was the sexual revolution of the 1960's and 1970's, I write to share some visceral and intensely negative experiences I had in my youth. These experiences  were a long-term shaping of my gradual walk away from being  a Leftist and from the dishonesty that is threaded throughout the pushing of sinful behavior and thought.

I am now an Elder, turn 70 in November 2022, a scarred veteran of the crazy and messy pile of "fun" that was so heartily sold to me as a young woman.  First I got on and off  the birth control pill ( one year, three brands. all awful), then I got gonorrhea, then I got the crab lice,  then I got trichomoniasis, then I got pregnant twice, then I had two abortions in less than three months and  then my heart began to be broken and broken and broken, along with me breaking a few hearts of men as well. 

Youth today is still sold this ridiculous and dangerous bill of goods, about how free and easy life is when you "do your own thing."  Following God or having some honorable self-restraint is for old people and not for the young and hip. Problem is, no one really adds together the real cost of making very bad choices.  I am a living example of the added cost of those stupid decisions, made under pressure and with the full bloom of peers pushing on you to be a part of the mob. I understand fully the pull of the "tribe" and yet the tribe I want to be part of now is not the same one. I have lived decades of poverty, hopelessness, emotional chaos, financial disarray, housing loss, wandering in low employment and no direction other than survival, to name a few pungent items of my life. While I had a few breaks and some bright spots, it was mostly a hard, rough road.

One night in my 18th year, a friend and I were visiting one of our local hippie houses in my hometown. This was one apartment where so much dope was smoked, coffee drunk, stupid plans made and idiotic behavior was practiced.

For some reason that night, I actually made one wise decision.

One of the of the most flagrant  male "players" in our hippie group was loudly bemoaning the terrible fact that "it has been two weeks since I got any" and he began to pressure both myself and my friend ( a lady) to jump into bed with him, either one of us. His lovely sales tactic was "it will be good for you, too, you know!"

Well, duh, no, I don't think so.  He had the reputation for LOUSY sex, being the "30-second wonder" and not a lovely lover, him.  He was pushing on us both.  My friend and I looked at each other and said "we are going outside, we will be back shortly".  We walked out into the hallway to discuss this "offer" and amazingly enough, we both immediately decided the answer was NO, especially as his reputation for being lousy had preceded him.  Walking back in and telling him "NO" and departing, we unfortunately met another young lady who was an acquaintance to us both and she unfortunately, being of very low self-esteem, gave in to this guy.

I think back to that one tiny act of my own simmering and quiet rebellion against the group think of pressure. 

The thief, Satan, is like the big man on campus. He tells florid stories of how great he is and how much we would enjoy his company and how cool he is and how cool we would be in kind if we hung out with him and also did his bidding.

Well, sadly, NO.  He lies, all day, every day. There is no heart of love in this being of darkness. This is why our great nation of USA is in such terrible straits right now (2022) and the sea of absolute chaos is roiling on every corner in both the spiritual and physical realm, on top of the Covid madness.

I stay in prayer and in heartfelt repentance every day. I ask for the mercy of God to change my life and to make the mistakes I made count for a warning to others so many years later.

This is how God works. He works through our troubles and our sorrow. He will make things new again when we bring the whole mess to Him and ask Him to forgive, cleanse and renew. It does not happen quickly but it DOES happen and the choices to follow God on that narrow path are infinitely better.  No half-way there, no compromise, no taking half and wanting it all. God satisfies in a way that nothing else can compare.

Lots more stories to share about this journey!

Wendy Williams