DON'T TOUGHEN IT UP

Keep the tender beauty

• Hebrews 6:17-19: “Wherein God, willing more abundantly to show unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath, that by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold on the hope that is set before us: which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, which entered into that within the veil…”

• “Fled for refuge”, indeed. We need it.

  I present, yet another piece of madness in the escalating war between men and women:

• Many years back, in a very high fashion magazine, I saw a lovely evening gown, frilly, fluttery and overwhelmingly, beautifully feminine. I expected the dress to be anchored by delicate satin high heels. 

• I was stunned to see instead, combat boots! The description of the dress included the suggestion that the dress needed to " toughen up"  with the soundly masculine heavy boots.  This is a sorrowful lack of connection and continuity. It also looked utterly ridiculous. If you wanted a more masculine look, do not then present in a frilly feminine dress! It does not connect in any way.

• This attitude seems undergirded by some idea that femininity is weak and needs hardening. 

  I sorrow over all this.

• Have they ever given birth??? Any woman who has carried a child to term and gave him or her passage into this world, is NOT REMOTELY WEAK or in need of toughening up. While giving birth for the first time, a woman might need extra help and strength to get her through such an immense task, having no previous experience with it. However,  her own body is expertly designed for just that purpose, being a miraculous conduit for birthing a human life. The sheer and staggering strength required to birth a brand new human being is a piece of God's creative mastery, as the woman's body gradually exits the little person via the waves of the uterus, contractions. 

• I have a dear friend and Sister in Christ who just became a Great-Grandmother at age 69.  Her Granddaughter was in labor for 38 hours, all told!  Myself and three other prayer Intercessors, were on the case to pray for this young lady ( likely in her very early 20s) as she labored to bring her first child into the world. What a majestic thing to do!

• I saw a brief photo of the young Mother, sound asleep the day after the birth. I was concerned that she, being so young and perhaps affected by the cynicism of the youngest generations right now, would have been overwhelmed and sad by the entire birthing process, the intensity, the pain, the sheer potency of it all .  However, a couple of days later, at our church Sunday morning Bible study, my friend showed us a text and very short video of her Granddaughter, saying how she was overwhelmed at how much love she felt for this new life, her daughter and how glad she was that she was here. She and her husband were off on the parent adventure together, with anticipation and hope!

• More deep emotion for me as the ancient love of Mother for child actually kicked in and the strength was palpable. Her own Mother was there during the birth, and I am certain her Mom's presence helped undergird the continuity.  

• I never gave birth. I  had two abortions in my 20th year in 1973, was very promiscuous and lived in utter sorrowful rebellion for many long years as a Prodigal away from my Christian faith. This was a huge mistake for me and what I write about in my own Substack.  I had no way to relate to what this young lady went through. My own Mother had died overnight when I was 13. I started my menstrual period alone, a year later.  I had no guide along the way, to help me into young womanhood and was pulled into the stupidity of the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s.

•  This was an overwhelming disaster for young women, especially.  The birth control Pill cut a wide swath of disconnection for young women, not to mention the awful side effects.  I am not against the barrier method for contraception (diaphragm) or the use of sterilization, but the Pill was not a good thing. 

• For several years in my wild youthful days, I kept very very short hair, like 1/4 inch long. I felt so severe and raw and I did not want to look frilly... and I succeeded. I scared some men away! (more stupid!) I hid my broken heart under an intense surface.  I was gaunt, (not curvy!)  and restless and not very warm and cuddly, although I did feel deep emotion. 

• For the most part, I did not do  very well in the realm of love and relationships.  I did have an extended partnership with one dear man and that helped to stablize myself for a season but...I never gave birth and never formally married. I tried being bisexual briefly in my youth and that was even worse!

• While the entire birth process is certainly the most intense thing that could ever happen to a woman's body and I personally believe that not everyone is psychologically suited for parenthood, the disconnect between male and female is only getting worse and wider. The entire idea of "toughening up" a feminine dress is a total opposite to the differences between the two genders.  While I myself am not particularly "frilly" in dress as a biological female, I have no doubt what gender I am. I feel the seas of emotion and feel deep empathy for the difficulties of others.

• I do not yearn to be male.  The whole "Beta male" syndrome is for me, off-putting. Yes, not every man is a rough-tough Alpha any more than all women are frilly girls.  However, the genders are different, have different physiologies and different biological functions, with women having wombs and men...not having wombs! Every single human ever to live on this earth, spent several months within the body of their Mother, whether born the natural way or via caesarean section.  We are then subjected to many years of slowly growing up and learning how to be a human being and participant (not a barbarian!) of the human race, an arduous process for all of us.  

• For me, I have the consideration of being an observer and also hopefully a peacemaker between men and women. I take this seriously, especially as an Elder, born 1952. Feminism versus  MGTOW ("men going their own way", a disaffected heterosexual men's movement) are serious disconnects between the two genders and this does not bring healing or even a detente.  I would humbly hope that the "toughening up" routine is unraveling as men and women remember that we need one another, not only for very life to continue but for an anchor to the physical realm on Earth. This is not remotely simple but still needed.

• To fellow wounded and brokenhearted women and men out there, dismayed by the crumbling of our USA  social fabric in August 2024, I hear you and I feel the same sadness. 

• To men who have  been condemned, castigated and dismissed for  being Male, had no say in the aborting of a son or daughter, hated and told it is now a " female world", I would heartily say as one blunt woman who survived the sexual revolution, “I DON'T THINK SO". Women, just try keeping society going, much less the creation of LIFE, without men! Life only begins with male and female.

• For women, frustrated and  cast aside when they are no longer young, I hear you and I get it, I am an Elder woman myself. Healing and help are desperately needed. I have certainly been on the receiving end of cruel and mean treatment from men, used as only a receptacle. I have been there!

• As a woman of God and follower of Christ, I see the overwhelming need for peace talks between men and women and I hope to play a part in this.

  Wendy Elizabeth Williams   August 23, 2024

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  Wendy Williams