FROM B TO Z: PART THREE, ON WORK

"Learn by doing"

• Well, I usually do not start out a writing piece in tears...but tonight I am.

  I just watched a commencement address by an Admiral and Navy Seal, William H. McRaven, who gave a powerful commencement address to a graduating class at Univ. of Texas in 2014. His speech can be heard on YouTube and is a very worthy listen, about "ten things to do if you want to change the world", from May 23, 2014.

  Why am I in tears??  I am so far from all that success and feel so very small compared to all these greats.  I have a high degree only in survival.  I made it through only one year of  college, I have had no "big" job ever, I have  run to survive since I left home in rebellion in 1971.  Street-smart, yes, learned by difficult doing, yes,  survived with some help along the way, yes, and have actually made it to age 71 with the wondrous grace of God.  Why the heck do I write to all you talented and young Gen. Z folks, what the heck could I ever offer to you brilliant youth??

   I guess I just listened to Holy Spirit, as He guided me to simply offer a loving encouragement and a spirit of hope from a Baby Boomer to Generation Z, that you can get through life even a tremble at a time, just like I did. I did not set out to have great accomplishments, I simply wanted a roof and food and to not be totally captured by the control freaks of the world. I set out from the gate being wounded and scarred and had little ballast to fight, with only my scrappy blunt girl persona, combined with being a sensitive soul (not the greatest mode for great success!) 

  Many of you may be a polar opposite to that and I respect that. Many of you, however, may resonate more like myself, who do not find a place to fit in and struggle to find a spot to live and be. This final part 3 piece is aimed at you who feel out of the flow, so to speak. I figure all you other accomplished brainiacs probably do not need the likes of me, advising you in "street-smart" and "survival 101".  So, nevertheless, I press on with the hope that these three pieces dedicated to Generation Z, will somehow help even a handful of young people to feel some loving encouragement and to find their place.  

  " Find one thing and stick with it!"  My Dad's  counsel to me in my early twenties was good...and I never could do it. Dad never pursued his own great gift of being a Draftsman ( one who creates technical drawings of buildings, etc.)  He found a job in the mid-1930’s, working on the railroad and never looked back. This was in the Great Depression years and it was survival first.   While my Dad kept the basics afloat for me through my teens, after he told Mom he was filing for divorce and she died the next night of a massive stroke in 1966, he never deeply bonded with me as his troubled daughter. He could not  understand my sorrow nor my terrible restless spirit, especially after my brother died in the Vietnam War in 1968. He did not abandon me but he never “got” me.

  I have simply run from little job to little job for my entire life, with the one exception of residential leasing, as that allowed me the freedom to be alone in my car as I drove from place to place and attended to each apartment showing. (‘m a loner, if you haven’t figured that out! ) Property management agreed with me but most other jobs did not. 

  Work is certainly something that is extremely important but can also take over your life. In tribal cultures the world over, groups from the tribe would do certain work, usually assigned by age, ability and gender. Younger men would be the hunters for food. Younger women would  bear children and gather plant foodstuffs, older men would support the hunters and make weapons and older women would lend support to children and deal with gathering of food and preparing of animals from the hunt. Each had a primal part to play.  As humanity grew and expanded, things got more complex. 

  I think the core thing I have learned in my 71 years of life in regards to the realm of work, is to seriously spend time seeking your own gifts, what comes naturally for you and what you do well without a huge production. I know for many, this is very difficult, with family or societal demands put on your path.  My Dad did not expect me to amount to anything and he truly did not want  to be a parent.  I had to totally wing it all the way.

  Having someone to steadily believe in you is a HUGE deal.  Since my Mom died in my early teens, I was  cast adrift into the world with barely a clue.

  At the very least, learn to advocate for yourself!  Dig for your God-given gifts and pursue them with heart and enthusiasm!  While you may not exactly pursue your "passion" right away, you can still find work that is not too obnoxious and will keep you afloat while you seek better things, day by day. Don't settle for a lifetime of work you hate!  NO NO NO!!! I say it is better to have a bit less than to feel trapped and unappreciated in work you hate, which to me is an awful way to live.  

  I just read a powerful Substack writing piece on the anxiety suffered by some of Gen Z, social anxiety as they have grown up  so much in the online arena, becoming more people-averse than other generations. (“Girls” , Freya India, brilliant!!!).  Being in touch with fellow humans only from an online place or via text or direct message is certainly a different way to live. I know humans are messy, sometimes difficult, sometimes cantankerous and they might at times, disagree with you. 

  The scary part... how do you cope with this untimely intrusion to your peaceful place of alone-ness?  I can speak for my own love of solitude and my sincere need to be alone, a lot...and yet being with human beings is how commerce and trade and the getting of the basics of life happens. It does not occur in a vacuum. 

  I do strongly empathize with the young. I as an Elder, also enjoy lots of time alone.  I do, however, have a small "cadre" of friends (my church!) with whom I can pray, talk, cry, eat with, laugh with and share at least bits of life together .  

  Every person on earth is actually stumbling up the mountain along with you, having the same troubles and same tears and same sorrows.

  While this is not always comforting if you are accustomed to being at arms-length or completely physically alone, at least at times you may just find one person who resonates with you. It may be someone who is interested in the same field of work as you are.  Shared interests do make things a bit easier. 

  In the hunt for work, you seek what makes you come alive, the skills and gifts that come naturally for you. For myself, being a vastly more right-brain empathic type, I am happy in creative things, such as writing. I am a tactile and color and shape person and do enjoy things like fabric and garments. I could not be  a mathematician, an athlete or a corporate type if my life depended on it! It just does not flow for me.   Find what makes you smile and pursue some corner of that as employment, even if you start as a self-employed person, pursuing only bits and pieces to start. Survival first!   SOMEONE out there needs your gifts and needs what you have to offer.  It is absolutely worth the hunt. Choose with care.

  A resume by itself  is just a piece of paper. Your connection to real human beings is the key, the "hanging out" in areas that you have an interest.  I would not hang out with a corporate arena as that is not my gifting.  I would not hang out with mathematicians, as that is not my gift.  I would not hang out with hard-driving Type- A personalities, as that is not my gift! It is almost like you become a hunter and a trader, seeking the spark of gems in the dirt, that spark leads you to the next spark and on ahead. One step, one step, one step, just like a child.

  With the advent of AI coming fast, humans need to dig deep to find their place and the gifts that only they have. Machines are not humans, they are helpful but I find them not authentic and they have no soul. You do!  The vaunted "networking", which to someone like me just means keeping your radar on full blast, this can help plant some seeds. You look for a few whom you see the same spark in and with whom you feel some kind of connection. This is not a bad thing, this is a primal “vibe.”

  This is not a "dating scene", this is a human connection scene. Even finding one person should help. Do you want status and "stuff"?  You would pursue that arena. Do you want fellowship and belonging?  You would seek what I call "sideways" elements, or more low-key areas of work, even retail or food work or temp work, which can simply be a means to an end, not a lifetime work. 

  One thing does nudge you on to the next and the amazing thing is in an area you feel comfort and friendship, there may be more of a chance to find opportunities.  Hunting too hard does not work but relaxation does work.  When not stumbling after the goods, a smile or an acknowledgement can just show up out of nowhere.  The radar is key, keeping aware of "vibes" and a good energy that makes you actually feel good. Even a sole proprietor gig that is just you, a phone and tablet or laptop, some simple business cards and a landing page or website, that is a tiny launching pad. Not easy but a place to begin! I have done it! Learn by doing!

  I know this makes no sense to the structured climb up the ladder...but if you have made it through college with a four year degree, have sent out large numbers of resumes and see almost no response, that is when you have to drop down on all fours and get crafty. Help is out there in the form of fellow strugglers...who see in you a kindred spirit and a friend along the path. 

  Survival first, yes, but not forever. I am not suggesting you stay in survival mode, it is tough. I would say to simply stand down from the driving force for a time and keep the basics afloat from however you can manifest, while continuing the hunting for the next good door. It is there and sometimes seems almost...shy.  Don't break the door down, try as you can to slow down a tad and look around and you  just may see good things nearby. Write things down, for memory sake!!! Every single job I have ever had, I learned something from it. The web of threads DOES connect to others and that continues. Not a straight line but a jagged one...but still, it keeps the momentum and one day, something will click. 

  I will say in closing, as a woman of God and follower of Christ, God does not require perfection!!! He sees your heart! I have met not one person of perfection in my entire life. I met flawed and stumbling humans just like me, some with high degrees and great education but still, stumbling humans just like me.  Comparing is dread. You are one unique gem with gifts that not one other person in history, has.  Embrace those, even through your tears.  YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE NEEDED, YOU ARE BLESSED.

  From a scrambling Baby Boomer to dear Gen. Z, with respect.

  Wendy Elizabeth Williams   August 9, 2024

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