FROM OPPOSITE SIDES

Fording the gulf between men and women

• Genesis 2:18

  "Then the Lord God said, 'it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper, fit for him.’ "

• Have you ever been to an orgy? I have to sorrowfully admit I have, twice, long ago in my youth and it was not much fun, vastly oversold in abject lies. This is the selling of the surface visuals, shallow fantasy themes, body parts only, separate from souls, sorrow incarnate. It is also being touched by some you are NOT attracted to, realistically!

• I have participated in this drive of stupidity. I have done battle with lust and for a season of my life long ago, lust won. NOT satisfying is putting it mildly.

• Yuck.

• My emotions told me " I want that guy!" My body, however, did not cooperate with the hipster demand. Sex, AKA "slam" and " bam" was actually painful for me. Sex hurt for at least a year. I soldiered on, so bravely being the free feminist...empowered. (deep sarcasm noted)

• More YUCK.

• STDs were the extra topping I did not need ( do I have to tell you, sexually transmitted diseases are NOT fun??) I had gonorrhea once, crab lice once and trichmonas once, especially yucky. I had those along with unplanned pregnancy, twice. One was from a one night stand, abortion #1 and he never knew, I never saw him again. Abortion #2, even worse, VERY jealous boyfriend, wanted to marry me and possess me. The joys of Roe vs. Wade, circa late summer 1973. Not remotely free or glamorous. NOT female empowerment.

  Nope.

• There are repercussions to behavior, no way around it. The rebellion against sexual restraint has been brewing for decades. The USA especially, is enmeshed in this mess, to the destruction and despair of millions caught in the relentless pursuit of "pleasure” and what a misnomer that word is! Based on my direct experience for a decade of my youth, it was not much pleasure…lots of LYING.

• There is a growing gulf between the two tribes of humanity, male and female, what I call the war between men and women. The vast sea of the brokenhearted, of which I am a charter member, needs the healing touch of the God, His Son and Holy Spirit, the Comforter.

• God created the figure-8 dynamic of the opposite sexes to create life and preserve life and to make a fellowship of daily life. God made this as a provision for not only the continuing of life itself but for the enjoyment and intimacy of a bonded husband and wife in the covenant of marriage. The breaking of this profound bond is in desperate need of repair and simplistic won't cut it. Part of the reason is the spirit of lust.

• Lust is a hunger than never gets filled. It is a principality, a powerful structure of evil and also a big, fat liar. Despite how the devil sells it, as the master marketer of darkness, it is cold, not hot. It is merciless, it is somber, it is stern. Lust lies its way into enslaving people. It promises freedom, delivers captivity and destruction to the body and soul. I lived it, I know.

• Unseen, the damage grows to incredible amounts. My own Boomer generation felt huge pressure to tear the walls down even more. Young women began to pull away from structures of modesty and purity. The cheering on of filth, in the guise of freedom...one of the greatest and most searing regrets I have ever had. My Mom was torn away from me, to sudden death in my early teens, one older brother sacrificed in the Vietnam War two years later. I had no shelter. The widespread rebellion began to rampantly trample a quiet spirit and embrace loud and profane. Hipster culture was filthy and truly enervating. This was selling, selling and selling of the profane as portrayed as lovely. It is not.

• This week, I did some brief research on "the dark side of the porn industry" and it was stark. Women actors were beaten, assaulted, heavily mistreated and expected to "take it". One person said 99% of the actors had herpes, an incurable STD.

• Just lovely, " freedom". I remember this medieval-looking building in San Francisco, on South Van Ness in the Mission district, in which pornography was filmed. I read interviews with some of the actors in the porn films, who spoke of how intensely their bodies were negatively affected by the filming of porn, they were "sore". I will allow your imagination to simmer on that statement.

  Not romantic, not tender, just "sore."

  Lies, lies and lies.

• I sacrificed some of my youth to the sorrowful madness...and I admit, I am steamed and indignant at my own loss of innocence, the stomping of self, the cynical wall of shameful behavior. It nearly destroyed my life and certainly stole from me, my sense of value, not as a “thing”.

• God has had mercy on me.

• I have a dear friend at my church, whose precious wife, a fellow warrior like me, was my Mentor in the Christian faith . She went Home to Heaven 4 years ago in May 2021 and my friend has warriored on without her. He is dealing with ongoing health challenges, being nearly 79. As an empath, I can quietly feel his pain and sadness. He asked me to pray for him this past Sunday, before I left church and I gladly did so. I mentioned to him before I prayed, " I don't want to hover over you and pester you with 'are you ok?? How are you??' " His reply was to sigh deeply and say " it has been four years since I had someone hover over me..." He is a rough-hewn guy, not a softie, so to hear his sorrow was very wrenching.

• This is the opposite of lust! This is caring, loving, tending, keeping watch, observing, helping others besides yourself, holding on when times get difficult, praying together, staying clear in repentance instead of crafting a hideout, as if God cannot see us (tried that...it was a colossal failure.) Sometimes we need to cry out in despair for God's help, even every five minutes. No, this is not the positive thinking route, this is seriously humbling yourself before God and asking for His forgiveness and help, moment by moment. This is not lightweight stuff, this is warrrior stuff to the core. It is not remotely easy, either, and one other reason...we NEED GOD'S HELP.

• I was very moved by my friend's sorrow.

• We all need this caring, this honorable hovering.

  Not mania or possession but humble caring for another more than self.

  Whew...

• I have never been formally married. I am not a Mom. I may not be marriage material, even though I love men.

• I am OK with that, as long as I have God and His Son.

  Wendy Elizabeth Williams, Friday, June 6, 2025 (in loving memory of my Uncle Arthur, who fell in the D-Day invasion in Normandy, France, during WW2, June 6, 1944)

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  I am also, at Holy Spirit's nudge, writing one shorter piece weekly on Ko-fi, usually covering my lifelong love of all things fabric, garments and beauty, plus the war between men and women and my humble hope for a detente and healing. I will place each shorter writing piece briefly on Notes on each Friday night, after I get my weekly Substack piece up. This week is a short feature about color, featuring a fascinating flower I met, with an intriguing blend of scarlet/crimson and oxblood red. Gorgeous and grounding! I am so sorry I have no photo of the flower! I know how to photograph with my phone but not how to upload onto a website. One of these days…I will learn.

  --Consider hiring me to do some short hops of writing assignments for you. Very affordable and no long-term commitment needed. I am very skilled at what I call "emotional-descriptive" writing. Authentic emotion is a powerful way to honorably present your own work and business endeavors. Contact me here on Substack via a Direct Message or on Ko-fi via a message there.

  --Please pray for me that I clearly hear the still, small voice of Holy Spirit, as He is my writing coach.