FROM THE HIGH REALM OF WORTH, WHERE GOD LIVES...
And I am invited!
-- Lamentations 3: 22-23 : “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not...they are new every morning, great is thy faithfulness.”
--Isaiah 54:2: “Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords and strengthen thy stakes...”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts I think toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end”...
With the current Substack Notes thread of requesting a “ one- line description of yourself”, mine is “ up, down and sideways, holding fast to God and His Son.”
Some nights, I am holding fast in relative stability, holding God’s hand. Some nights, I am huddled in the cave the Prophet Elijah retreated to in refuge. Elijah, after winning a huge battle against the priests of Baal in 1st Kings 19, suddenly crashed in threats to his life and fled to the boonies, where he lay down in despair. When asked by God. “what are you doing, Elijah?”, he basically replied, “they have killed the prophets, I am alone. Please end my life and bring me Home.” God was kind and tender with Elijah and provided food and water and a place of refuge. That refuge was a cave...and I’m joining him there...sometimes the world is too much... I can relate so strongly to despair and feeling overwhelmed. God’s compassion does care for us.
Most of us have at least one seemingly implacable problem that we battle with repeatedly. It sits there glaring at us, while we return once again to the blood-soaked field of personal internal war.
“Can’t catch ME!,”it sneers...as you seem to trip on that blasted uneven pavement yet again...
My implacables are both the struggle for self-worth and the ability to earn money (AKA relentless-survival). While I am no longer in any debt ( God’s miracle, one of several), I seldom “ grabbed ahold” to what I was admonished to do way back in youth...to find one thing and stick with it ( yes, Dad...). Restless and unstable, I struggled with the basics of the material realm. I have worked in all kinds of jobs...but (until now, with my writing)... never the work of my heart. I have been on the treadmill of survival mainly, caught in the churn of food, clothing, shelter...like a maddened merry- go- round with no off button. I do not do well under pressure.
Self worth is my other “ behemoth”, a towering “Demando” that chuckles at my efforts. While I no longer loathe myself, I am still not a conquering hero that stands tall in my sense of self, I still remain mostly a survivor. Survivors get good at hiding in plain sight, we excel in the hidden. The hidden get slam-dunked, trampled and ignored by the madding crowd.
Now God, on the primal other hand, has no such problem! I am mystified how He lives 100% in a realm of Worth. No nagging tugs of doubt, no indigestion stirring and gurgling, no running for approval of the next new thing. It is not “ego” but His incredible mercy and compassion and genuine overwhelming love for us struggling humans! (see John 3:16!)
He IS the next new thing, as His mercies are new every morning! He is the Creator!
I mean, I talk so often about “ flopping on the couch with Papa” and pouring out my sorrows, why do I still struggle so?? While the struggle is getting somewhat less...it is still there, troubling me. It is my personal battle to share, that the conduit of God’s love can flow through even me, to bind up the brokenhearted. If I can resonate with even a handful of the brokenhearted, that remains the core of my writing work here on Substack and Notes. Like any writer, it is not an easy thing, speaking your life and your learnings, through the written word.
Sometimes, it is “ don’t get me started...”
I am supposed to dwell in the secret place of the most high, I am supposed to be “fearfully and wonderfully made”! Psalm 139 has my name all over it. Really! It does! It still remains a battle, day by day. The dark does not let go easily, it must be resisted and resisted repeatedly.
Memory, WEW, memory!! Repeat, repeat and repeat.
Try again?
Well, OK...OK... OK...
I am supposed to live in that place of worth, not the bargain basement! YES, self lecture, I know...I’m a stubborn girl even at an Elder age...not an easy-to-use breakout. Heck, I should write a book...hmm...I’ve been told that before...( do you KNOW how many books are out there??? ) Focus, Wendy! Niche , Wendy!
As WEW says, “ hmm” . Habit, I know it well.
It is scary to “stretch forth the curtains of thy habitations”, to shift the gears, to step into uncharted territory.. From the Papa God Who once called me a “raving optimist”, I sure don’t feel that...for more than a minute at a time...
BUT, even I can try new things! Heck, I traipsed into Substack, didn’t I, back in July of 2022??? I have continued forward for 3 1/2 years, haven’t I?? I have at least 130 posts up and a good number also on my Ko-fi page! I stick to writing one longer piece per week on Substack and a shorter one on Ko-fi. I have a substantial number of dear subscribers! I spend time daily on Substack Notes, offering encouragement and conversation and learning about other dear people. I can “put a sentence together”, can’t I?? ( what one literary agent told me a few years back, in answer to my query...who then told me I should not pursue publishing, due to my age...)
What am I, 1000??? Nope. Not quite.
Oh, the snags I create...a master weaver of mental-emotional snags...good grief, why don’t I exit this morass? I remind myself that self-worth is NOT aggrandizement or ego or becoming an “influencer.” It is true humility, allowing yourself to be honorably shaped by God, a Servant’s Heart in being the hands and voice of God and His Son on this earth.
I do remember my own Mom’s admonition...” time’ s a’wastin.”
And it is. Get to it, at least something every single day. Something! No condemnation but continuing the steady, even slow tiny steps, the avalanche of pebbles!
Papa God, help me up the next hope step, the next worth step! You told me a couple of weeks back in our nightly fellowship, that You had a “ hope bank” set aside for me.
In the inimitable WEW words... “Hmm...” Ordering up one heaping helping of WORTH, please! Help me, God, to practice along with you, as You sent Holy Spirit, not only the Comforter but the Teacher Who knows each student and the strengths they have. Putting my trembling hand in His and taking that next small step towards hope...
Wendy Elizabeth Williams Friday, December 12, 2025
—Listen to this majestic and heartfelt rendition of “O Holy Night” from the wondrous tenor voice of David Phelps, along with the Gaither Music Choir...to me, the greatest rendition ever, of the sacred Christmas hymn. The words resonate with me, as the lyrics speak of the event of the birth of Christ and just what that meant to the world...”long lay the world, in sin and error pining, ‘til He appeared and the soul felt its worth...” Amen to that, a million times over... Listen to Bill & Gloria Gaither - O Holy Night [Live] ft. David Phelps - YouTube That is our WORTH, to God... listen to all the lyrics, they will fill your heart with joy! If the hyperlink does not work, just enter what the link says and you should be led there, with David Phelps directly in the screen, preparing to sing. (P.S. for some reason, my hyperlinks are not showing blue! They did on my email but do not connect here on Substack, my apologies! You can easily find this by entering the info I mention above on a search engine, the song is worth it!)
--Consider becoming a paid subscriber at $5 a month or $60 per year. Please note to all my paid subscribers, you are under no pressure to continue. I humbly appreciate your kindness but know that you can unsubscribe as a paid subscriber, any time, there is NO pressure from me whatsoever. You can unsubscribe as a paid subscriber by contacting Substack directly or sending me a D-M on Notes. I sincerely want no snags with this!
-- Consider donating any amount from $1 and up on my Ko-fi page at https:Ko-fi.com/wendyelizabethwilliams. You can donate one time, periodically, or monthly as you feel guided. I am also having a great time creating a weekly shorter writing piece on my Ko-fi, focusing mainly on my lifelong love of all things fabric, garments and beauty, plus the centuries long battle between men and women. This week I am writing about what it is that draws me to garments and “fashion”, the certain repeating elements that fascinate me. Each week after I get my weekly longer Substack piece up, I place my shorter Ko-fi piece on Notes on Friday evening as well.
__I remain a micro-entrepreneur, a worker of one. Keep in touch if you are the same!
--Pray for me!
First, dear one, is I want to acknowledge I read and ‘heard’ the feelings you were expressing so well. I want to acknowledge that I, too, have struggled with similar feelings. It has been my experience that one of the few ways to get past the feelings is to realize the only way past is through. “This too shall pass”. I remember reading somewhere that God will not give you anymore than you can handle in any given day. Often I have found myself crying out: “Come On Midnight”!
“If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” Two different cancers, Prostate (currently in remission) and throat cancer which is currently in biweekly hospital treatments has me living One Day At A Time (ODAT). For many years I have heard that expression. It ‘s one of those phrases that can be easily spoken. However, not so easily lived. ODAT is becoming clearer that ever before.
Of late I have been practicing another spiritual remedy. This is kinda funny because I don’t always remember to practice this spiritual remedy.
Through study with a wonderful Bishop the phrase “Turn It Over…” is becoming a reality.
I digress, it has been my experience to learn and practice spiritual remedies with a trusted Spiritual Guide. If I stay in my head by myself it is a very bad neighborhood, I get mugged in the bad neighborhood of my mind.
I have been attaching my fears, my pains, my uncertainties, my sense of abandonment over to The Passion of Our Lord, Jesus Christ. He being fully Man (and fully God) he experiences everything a human can or has experienced during his Passion.
What was the end result of his Passion? His Death. What was the result of his death? His Resurrection and the Salvation of all mankind (womankind as well).
So I try to ‘turn over’ my experiences to the Passion of Our Lord. This does not necessarily mean the fear, pain uncertainty and sense of abandonment are instantly relieved. But, it tells me that my suffering is not meaningless. By turning over to Our Lord’s Passion this leads to the Salvation of the World. My sufferings tied to the Lord leads to the Salvation of the World.
This may not relieve my condition, but it gives my suffering A PURPOSE, A REASON FOR MY HAVING THEM. When tied to the Lord’s Passion my sufferings are attached to the ultimate Salvation of the World.
I am not being narcissism or egotistic here. I know that I am not the salvation, not the Savior. This also gives me a closer personal relationship with Our Lord.
It would be a good idea to run these thought by a trusted spiritual Guide. I believe I am speaking with good Holy Scripture in mind. Or it could be the ramblings of a 1968 Flower Child
Godbless, More will be Revealed
Much more can be said. This mornings my wife and I are becoming GodParents for the first time. I must get ready for the celebration,
The bargain basement is fun to visit sometimes (who doesn't love a bargain?), but no living there! My late best friend used to encourage me to spend a few pennies more when I could because I was worth it, and he wanted to get me out of poverty mentality. Treat yourself well, Wendy. You are worth it! Merry Christmas!