I HAVE MET THE BANSHEE AND SHE IS ME
Rage against the madness, this I understand. Rage against the injustice, this I understand, Rage against suffering, this I get.
Rage against "forced birth", this is pure insanity, that I once raged against myself. A young lady seen on video at a recent (2022) Wash. DC rabidly pro-abortion march, screaming “I love killing babies", this I also get. It is pure and simple REBELLION against the female body and template.
Based on my own nearly 70 years of living in a biological female body, this is how the darkness works. It gathers in the raw and unfettered emotions of sorrow, lack of power, frustration, poverty, all the above mess of pottage. Does this darkness help? Heck no. The devil lives to "Kill, steal and destroy" and he does an excellent job of spreading this manure everywhere he can. He spread it on me. At age 20, I scraped my two children out of my womb, two in a row in three months in 1973. I was out of control, not using birth control, emotionally chaotic, eating huge amount on sugary treats, not caring for myself, full meltdown in all ways. I somehow survived that conflagration back in 1973, stumbling on to live and sow further chaos, and reap the same. My babies, unfortunately did not survive, and yes, I did invite them in by my actions. Man meets woman and life can sometimes be sparked.
Cause and effect, what a dastardly plan. WHY cannot I do whatever the hell I want and have NO repercussions??? Why do I have to grow and be responsible for my actions??? It is so unfair! Why does my female body bleed every single month, why does it hurt, why does it make a mess, both physical and emotional? Why does the lining of my uterus and dissolved unfertilized egg flow out of me every single frigging month??? Why do my hips widen? Why do I sprout bumps on my chest/?? WHY WHY WHY? Why do men look at me funny and I have funny feelings toward them??? WHY?
I am not the first woman to ask that question, both in curiosity and in sorrow throughout human history. Centuries...
That screaming young lady must have a mixed bag of humiliating and rage-filled story she is going through, despite her strident youth.
Young lady, I GET IT. I do not blame your generation, I blame my own Boomers, who took the opened box of dark spirits and spread them about in our rage and sorrow. That sorrowful behavior brought forth terrible repercussions.
I have been there. My own VERY sharp tongue and contentious/combative temperament got me into plenty of trouble and toil, and bore no good fruits in my life. Take it from a wounded warrior, years into your own future. It does not work!
Unfortunately, YOU are born female and no, you cannot change your gender and no, you cannot escape some of the unpleasant shoves of biological reality. Men have theirs, women have ours. Yes, you can use birth control that can mostly prevents pregnancy. Yes, you can get your tubes tied and have no more fertility. Yes, you can be celibate.
But....you cannot scream in that manner and expect any healing to occur in your broken heart. I do not suggest you have children, ever. Even I agree, not everyone is emotionally set up to be a parent. I was not.
However, and the however is a substantial one, you cannot f--- around and then expect no repercussions. That is how life begins and it is how YOU were given FREE passage into this world. YOUR MOM let you camp out in her uterus for multiple months and then gave birth to you in pain and blood. Whether you had loving or responsible parents or no, is a moot point in terms of your responsibility as an adult. It is how every single human being has entered the world, world without end.
Seeing my own Boomer generation scream such things and then seeing what appeared to be a Gen. Z girl, screaming the same, horrifying. No, I do not want to be a man! Cannot be one anyway, but I get the frustration. I am fine being female,it is how God brought me through. I am just venting on some of the tough realities of being an adult human female, WOMAN. Man have their rough things as well, such as too much pressure put upon them, too much vilfication, too much disrespect…but that is another story for another post.
I remember my own cold, frozen heart and my pissed off temperament that got me into SO much trouble for so long. STILL healing from that conflagration at nearly age 70! I returned to my roots in God and His Son, broken and battered after 35 years of wandering and pain. I will never leave God's side again! This is “experiential writing”, full force.
God, HELP US
WW July 11, 2022