SPARKING THE SPARKLE SPARK!
The Stealth God visits my Base-Camp of Hope amidst the Avalanche of Pebbles
It would appear that Holy Spirit carries a pack of matches with Him, to light the spark of my sorrowful soul and my heart. It's a hidden plot, I tell you!! “Just get out the gate, Wendy!”
I am being refreshed by the Great Teacher, the Comforter, the Holy Spirit.
He named me "Miss Sparkle".
Imagine, coming from being a sharp-tongued cantankerous irritable, to being named a “raving optimist” by God Himself and Holy Spirit naming me " Miss Sparkle". This still makes no sense to my earthly mind! I still struggle with this.
The journey out of a life-view of pervasive sorrow is a rough one. I have not had a traditional life, no formal marriage, no children, not much higher education, almost no accolades, no admiration. I have lived invisibly for the most part as a street-smart survivor.
Why does God persist in seeing this spark in me when I so often feel worn and empty and unworthy of good things?? I think this is His secret mode of bringing healing to His broken ones (otherwise known as all of us!)
I choose to hang out and live in the “Base Camp of Hope'“ as the Avalanche of Pebbles roars by. That base camp is a place of refuge like Psalm 46: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." This is just like the "avalanche of pebbles" which was a phrase recently given to me by Holy Spirit Himself. This was a title for one of my recent writing pieces, regarding the understated and unexpected power of the small. Can I possibly help one other person out of their own morass just like my own??? That is truly a desire of my heart.
I feel just like Gideon in the Old Testament, who was just barely surviving the repeated attacks of warlike tribes plundering the resources of his own tribe. I can truly relate to Gideon, who lived "head down in survival mode", a mode I am intimately acquainted with. Defeat was his constant companion and he lived in a defensive stance constantly, him being from the "least of all the tribes". When he was winnowing grain inside a wine-press building, suddenly an Angel of the Lord appeared to him. The angel addressed him as "mighty man of God". Gideon responded to the Angel sent by God, by questioning "where is this mighty man??" I wonder if the Angel expected that lack of faith response…or did he roll his eyes?? Fortunately for Gideon and his tribe, the Angel did not stop.
I can certainly and profoundly relate. God is in the "renewing of the mind" business, step by step. Gideon went on to win an amazing victory with God helping him all the way. He had a tiny army who defeated the huge one, with God's help all the way and helped to free his people from the enslavement of bullies.
Doing battle with my own inner curmudgeon self is rather odd, to put it lightly . I fully understand the need to change my inner vision, to allow and cooperate with God's calling on my life, to get my stubborn hands OFF THE STEERING WHEEL, posthaste. I mean, I’m an excellent driver…but these are roads I am not familiar with and I need a Divine Map, a Godly Guide.
Control freak that I have been for decades, this is not easy. I have some terrible days when I just want to lie down and die. This is not "positive thinking" stuff or simple surface stuff, this is a deep dive into the muddy waters of my psyche and the wounds I have carried along with me for most of my life. God is also the Master Spelunker...
And yet...Holy Spirit is an amazing Teacher. While profound and deeply serious, He knows my troubled, sorrowful and restless temperament. He also teaches with the tool of the lighthearted touch that ones like me desperately need. He actually makes me laugh!! He so gently mixes the serious tone with the lighthearted I need so strongly. I would call this “winsome.” The lighthearted is tenderly mixed with a masterful CALL TO ACTION. He tells me " just dive in and accept the learning curve, Wendy." If He scolded me, I would seriously collapse. Fortunately, He does not. He does persist, however and is quite stubborn in His tutelage of this rugged warrior, me!
"Laugh with Me", He says. I do that on some occasions. I'll be darned if the laughter actually helps me. Stubborn and blunt Oregon girl that I am, laughter does not come easily for a serious one like me. I need all the help I can get.
Fortunately, God has His ways and they are perfectly tempered and tailored to each individual son or daughter He calls and loves. While the journey is slow and rugged, I am never alone. Yes, I know the stereotype...and yet it is true, it is actually true.
God is no thug and He does not leave you by the side of the road, nor does He demand perfection. Also, NEVER do battle with the Master of all Masters! Do not play chess, poker or any "game of chance" with God, He will win 100% of the time...and He will then so generously and kindly hand YOU the prize! No fair, God...HUH??? He is truly a Master of all things and a perfect caller of all bluffs.
"Miss Sparkle", I am slowly growing towards this. Even I cannot be sad ALL the time. God's laughter is immense... and after all, He has to deal with all of us, every day.
It is my hope that I can actually put a smile on HIS face, more and more.
Wendy Elizabeth Williams Saturday April 27, 2024
I understand your reaction at being told you're "Miss Sparkle." I still remember the time God told me "your parents didn't name you Mary. *I* named you Mary. All my Mary's are women who have faith. You do too - you just don't realize it (yet)."
I had never seen me as a person who had faith. I had that little grain of mustard-seed, if it was even that big. But God knew better, and over the years He has helped me see it.
He will grow and transform you into the person he created you to be, if you let Him. It's not always an easy journey, but it's definitely worthwhile.
Wendy - Your posts are witty and uplifting, yet profound as you chronicle your journey with our Savior. Appreciate your candor.