So much wisdom in this piece. Thank you. Trying to fit in with the impossible demands of "beauty" may well be why my older daughter has had an eating disorder most of her life.
Joan, thank you. I think the pressure on women is enormous and I detest all of it. It puts a narrow line for all women to follow, an impossible one, an elitist one. It is not a race or a culture, it is a female thing of condemnation. NOT OK, and hence why I wrote this! Thank you for reading, I greatly appreciate it! W.E.W.
I have always tended toward the practical myself, wearing neutral earthtones made of sturdy, nonclingy material that would not tend to get caught on stuff.
I was berated once by a coworker for coming to the office in winter clothed my wool jacket, mid-calf length heavy skirt, and knee-high boots. She said I looked like a bear. Regrettably, I had not yet learned to bare my teeth.
Man, H.J. Hill…that is NOT OK that a co-worker would take it onto themselves to criticize your apparel in the winter! What did she expect you to wear??? A sundress and sandals? I tell you, some people…no common sense or sense of decorum! A wool coat, a mid-calf heavy skirt and knee high boots just makes good sense in cold weather!!!!! Glad I was not there when she harrassed you…she would have gotten an earful from me! By the way, I grew up in snow country, 4100 foot elevation in southern Oregon. We dressed in wool from head to toe…and long underwear and mittens and hats… W.E.W.
I grew up in Texas and the heavy stuff was never much in use, but when it was, boy howdy, out it came. Once in downtown Dallas, I was walking to the office from the parking lot on a fine December day, bundled from head to toe in my winter wear. I was getting stared at by a bunch of passersby and realized the temperature was probably in the mid 60s.
By 5:30 p.m., a blue norther had roared in with a 30 mph wind and the temperature had dropped to the 30s. I no longer looked so odd as I walked back to my car at a casual pace, passed all the morning starers as they ran to theirs.
Dear Wendy, I love this piece! I adore textiles. Love to run my hands along different materials. Some might call me a weirdo - but I adore clothing in the simple beauty of it as well. It took awhile for me to figure out that I'd buy the wrong clothes for my body because I loved the material more than the design! Now, it's in a scarf, a repurposed corduroy jacket (I removed the old plastic buttons and sewed "tree of life" brass buttons on it -- reminding me of God's nature, which I adore) I believe a black turtleneck and jeans is sexy. You understand. What lovely, wise words you speak. The pressure to be too much is too much. We are enough just as we are. I'm glad I raised my only daughter that way. She is earthy, simple and gorgeously herself without having to show too much. I always said, "your children will be watching." It's hard to see moms dressing overly sexy with small kids. Not healthy. Thank you for this dear friend. ox
Deborah, thank you!! I am glad to meet a fellow lover of all things fabric! I also love the texture of fabric, the little nubs that I also run my fingers over…feeling the magic of the weaving. Threads up, threads down, the weaving of life. I have the heart of a poet, like you do. I see things so deeply. I am grateful to know you and to share an honorable dialogue as women of God and followers of Christ! God keep you, dear Deb! Wendy
Yes, I agree with you on all the textures. I remember how much I loved brocade and wanted so bad to find a dress made of it, like an Audrey Hepburn style, for my 20th high school reunion. It was 1998 and I actually found one at a little boutique for $40. A lot of money for me to spend, while raising three kids (I was always very frugal and creative with my style) - but I bought it and felt so good wearing it. It was a shimmery beige. I’ve always had an old soul. I think you do too. Love you Wendy. ox
Deb, I am definitely an old soul! Brocade is a very elegant fabric, that shimmery look (satin-silk??) and the color they used to call “champagne” is always a hit! Audrey Hepburn, one of the elegant greats of old Hollywood!
It’s gorgeous and don’t know why it’s not more popular over the years — I am always looking for an old jacket of sorts, made from this material. It’s probably very expensive as material seems to be.
When I moved to this locality to live just over 20 years ago I often waited at the bus stop across the road with one,two or three Muslim women there,all in their black robes,with clumpy shoes and heads covered. No face masks though. I've seen total cover up in London but not here. These young women usually had a baby in a buggy or two or three toddlers. My point is that they didn't have any pressure on them to all day every day put the goods on display and no one was judging them lacking for that. I thought they were lucky. And they were/are happy,laughing and chatting away. Of course their parents or other family find their marriage partner in most cases so they don't have to attract the moth to the flame. Is it tough that they have to take what they're given. Or does it simplify life.
Jane, a good and interesting point. I also respectfully disagree. I am writing from my point of view, as a woman born in the West. I would not wear a long black robe, not ever. That, to me, is too much, destroying the individual. As much as I advocate for modesty and I certainly dress modestly with no showing off whatsoever, I am also a daughter of the most high God and I am one of His dear creations. I have repented of sin and my sorrowful years as a Prodigal to my Christian faith. My point in my writing piece was to advocate for a tempering of the pressures on women. I am a Christian. I follow Jehovah. I am a woman of God . W.E.W.
Sister Wendy, I wish I could repent of Sin but it's much harder to do that when it's bound and twisted into the core of your being. The Heart of Darkness within the Dark Heart. If it's just a matter of not turning tricks, not dropping acid, of stopping DOING THINGS well,I know that's not easy especially when that lifestyle makes you part of a community,part of a social network,and as John Donne points out no one is an Island (except me perhaps,and I'm not even Greenland,at least someone wants Greenland!).
"No man is an island,entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent,A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea,Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were,As well as if a manor of thine own, Or of thine friends were, Each mans death diminishes me. For I am involved in mankind. Therefore,send not to know for whom the bell tolls,it tolls for thee."
I rather admire and slightly resent that my Muslim female neighbours CAN wear all covering black robes and NO ONE criticizes or mocks them for it. Well,that would be both rude and racist. Yet for centuries Nuns have come in for joky disrespect for wearing exactly the same FORM of clothing. Not from people generally more from "the intelligentsia" those sort of people. They darent say jackshit about Muslim ladies clothes though or they know what they'll get,serves the bastards right.
I like that these women don't have that fierce pressure that Western women have been subjected to all through the 20th century at least,to put most of their body out on show,to stack the meat counter so the customers can pick and choose. I mean men of course choosing the partner they want. Of course all that dating and mating stuff has changed since the 1970s when it was going to the disco,showing out, three kids then D.I.V.O.R.C.E. I don't think there are venues now like that, young people cant afford to go out drinking and so far as I know people find each other online. That probably explains why most young girls I see now (in Britain) are fat and pudgy with muffin rolls. None of the black robed Muslim ladies are unmarried. There is no such thing in Muslim culture as a Spinster. But they don't have to put out to attract a man because their families fix them up,it doesnt really matter if they like their husband or not or the other way round. No husband and kids,no status.
So much wisdom in this piece. Thank you. Trying to fit in with the impossible demands of "beauty" may well be why my older daughter has had an eating disorder most of her life.
Joan, thank you. I think the pressure on women is enormous and I detest all of it. It puts a narrow line for all women to follow, an impossible one, an elitist one. It is not a race or a culture, it is a female thing of condemnation. NOT OK, and hence why I wrote this! Thank you for reading, I greatly appreciate it! W.E.W.
I have always tended toward the practical myself, wearing neutral earthtones made of sturdy, nonclingy material that would not tend to get caught on stuff.
I was berated once by a coworker for coming to the office in winter clothed my wool jacket, mid-calf length heavy skirt, and knee-high boots. She said I looked like a bear. Regrettably, I had not yet learned to bare my teeth.
Man, H.J. Hill…that is NOT OK that a co-worker would take it onto themselves to criticize your apparel in the winter! What did she expect you to wear??? A sundress and sandals? I tell you, some people…no common sense or sense of decorum! A wool coat, a mid-calf heavy skirt and knee high boots just makes good sense in cold weather!!!!! Glad I was not there when she harrassed you…she would have gotten an earful from me! By the way, I grew up in snow country, 4100 foot elevation in southern Oregon. We dressed in wool from head to toe…and long underwear and mittens and hats… W.E.W.
I grew up in Texas and the heavy stuff was never much in use, but when it was, boy howdy, out it came. Once in downtown Dallas, I was walking to the office from the parking lot on a fine December day, bundled from head to toe in my winter wear. I was getting stared at by a bunch of passersby and realized the temperature was probably in the mid 60s.
By 5:30 p.m., a blue norther had roared in with a 30 mph wind and the temperature had dropped to the 30s. I no longer looked so odd as I walked back to my car at a casual pace, passed all the morning starers as they ran to theirs.
H.J. Hill, that is a great story!! Weather is always unpredictable and it is always good to simply be prepared!
I think people handle temperature differently! I sure do, get colder the older I get. (73)
I'm 70 now and my hands are cold in all seasons.
Yep…I know that feeling quite well!!!
Dear Wendy, I love this piece! I adore textiles. Love to run my hands along different materials. Some might call me a weirdo - but I adore clothing in the simple beauty of it as well. It took awhile for me to figure out that I'd buy the wrong clothes for my body because I loved the material more than the design! Now, it's in a scarf, a repurposed corduroy jacket (I removed the old plastic buttons and sewed "tree of life" brass buttons on it -- reminding me of God's nature, which I adore) I believe a black turtleneck and jeans is sexy. You understand. What lovely, wise words you speak. The pressure to be too much is too much. We are enough just as we are. I'm glad I raised my only daughter that way. She is earthy, simple and gorgeously herself without having to show too much. I always said, "your children will be watching." It's hard to see moms dressing overly sexy with small kids. Not healthy. Thank you for this dear friend. ox
Deborah, thank you!! I am glad to meet a fellow lover of all things fabric! I also love the texture of fabric, the little nubs that I also run my fingers over…feeling the magic of the weaving. Threads up, threads down, the weaving of life. I have the heart of a poet, like you do. I see things so deeply. I am grateful to know you and to share an honorable dialogue as women of God and followers of Christ! God keep you, dear Deb! Wendy
Yes, I agree with you on all the textures. I remember how much I loved brocade and wanted so bad to find a dress made of it, like an Audrey Hepburn style, for my 20th high school reunion. It was 1998 and I actually found one at a little boutique for $40. A lot of money for me to spend, while raising three kids (I was always very frugal and creative with my style) - but I bought it and felt so good wearing it. It was a shimmery beige. I’ve always had an old soul. I think you do too. Love you Wendy. ox
Deb, I am definitely an old soul! Brocade is a very elegant fabric, that shimmery look (satin-silk??) and the color they used to call “champagne” is always a hit! Audrey Hepburn, one of the elegant greats of old Hollywood!
It’s gorgeous and don’t know why it’s not more popular over the years — I am always looking for an old jacket of sorts, made from this material. It’s probably very expensive as material seems to be.
"...feminine beauty as peace, humility, and a servant's heart." Thank you for this piece, Wendy!
Delia, thank you for reading, I appreciate it so much!
When I moved to this locality to live just over 20 years ago I often waited at the bus stop across the road with one,two or three Muslim women there,all in their black robes,with clumpy shoes and heads covered. No face masks though. I've seen total cover up in London but not here. These young women usually had a baby in a buggy or two or three toddlers. My point is that they didn't have any pressure on them to all day every day put the goods on display and no one was judging them lacking for that. I thought they were lucky. And they were/are happy,laughing and chatting away. Of course their parents or other family find their marriage partner in most cases so they don't have to attract the moth to the flame. Is it tough that they have to take what they're given. Or does it simplify life.
Jane, a good and interesting point. I also respectfully disagree. I am writing from my point of view, as a woman born in the West. I would not wear a long black robe, not ever. That, to me, is too much, destroying the individual. As much as I advocate for modesty and I certainly dress modestly with no showing off whatsoever, I am also a daughter of the most high God and I am one of His dear creations. I have repented of sin and my sorrowful years as a Prodigal to my Christian faith. My point in my writing piece was to advocate for a tempering of the pressures on women. I am a Christian. I follow Jehovah. I am a woman of God . W.E.W.
Sister Wendy, I wish I could repent of Sin but it's much harder to do that when it's bound and twisted into the core of your being. The Heart of Darkness within the Dark Heart. If it's just a matter of not turning tricks, not dropping acid, of stopping DOING THINGS well,I know that's not easy especially when that lifestyle makes you part of a community,part of a social network,and as John Donne points out no one is an Island (except me perhaps,and I'm not even Greenland,at least someone wants Greenland!).
"No man is an island,entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent,A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea,Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were,As well as if a manor of thine own, Or of thine friends were, Each mans death diminishes me. For I am involved in mankind. Therefore,send not to know for whom the bell tolls,it tolls for thee."
I rather admire and slightly resent that my Muslim female neighbours CAN wear all covering black robes and NO ONE criticizes or mocks them for it. Well,that would be both rude and racist. Yet for centuries Nuns have come in for joky disrespect for wearing exactly the same FORM of clothing. Not from people generally more from "the intelligentsia" those sort of people. They darent say jackshit about Muslim ladies clothes though or they know what they'll get,serves the bastards right.
I like that these women don't have that fierce pressure that Western women have been subjected to all through the 20th century at least,to put most of their body out on show,to stack the meat counter so the customers can pick and choose. I mean men of course choosing the partner they want. Of course all that dating and mating stuff has changed since the 1970s when it was going to the disco,showing out, three kids then D.I.V.O.R.C.E. I don't think there are venues now like that, young people cant afford to go out drinking and so far as I know people find each other online. That probably explains why most young girls I see now (in Britain) are fat and pudgy with muffin rolls. None of the black robed Muslim ladies are unmarried. There is no such thing in Muslim culture as a Spinster. But they don't have to put out to attract a man because their families fix them up,it doesnt really matter if they like their husband or not or the other way round. No husband and kids,no status.
Jane, if you are OK with it, I will respond with a Direct Message! Bless you, Wendy