Proverbs 3: 5
"Lean not unto thine own understanding..."
In 2022, it seems the template for girls and young women is to either flaunt what they have, dress like a provocateur, be a rumble girl , pretend they are really a boy and proceed disastrously, or accept doormat designation. None of these are good decisions to me, based on nearly 70 years on this earth.
What women can do, how the Creator designed their bodies to be able to bring forth life from the union of one sperm and one egg, designates a wondrous gift. I admit, in my youth, after two abortions in a row, in the same year as Roe vs. Wade passed in 1973, all I wanted was not to deal with the results of being female. I did not long to be a boy but I also did not enjoy the monthly period and pressures attending to that.
In my later youth, I went through a period of having very short hair, 1/4 inch long. I ran with a rowdy posse of gay men and one lesbian and I really tried to be bisexual (two years of disastrous searching.) It did not resonate with my soul and I left that path.
The hair, though, was a breakthrough in simple care and freedom of not having to fuss with my head. I was never built like a brick out-house, was small and boyish in figure and somehow, the extreme shortness of hair just worked for me for a period of time. When I had such short hair, it definitely added to my blunt and sometimes contentious temperament . Since women sometimes hide in longer hair, as per a “coquette" template, having extremely short, sharp hair lays you bare with no place to hide. My sharp edges were even sharper with the Wendy " buzz cut."
What that short hair did not bring me was love or tenderness. I paid a price for my bluntness .
The current " aggressive female " persona seems to me to be simply and not shyly attempting to destroy and trample centuries of a nurturing female template, one that has helped to sustain families throughout human history.
Did I pursue men in my youth? Absolutely. Did this add love or stability to my heart or temperament? No.
Are there inequalities between men and women that need to be addressed, such as mistreatment, misogyny and assaults? Yes, most definitely . Will these sorrows be solved by women becoming the cold aggressors? Not remotely.
A profound refuge found only through healing touch of God and His Son, is the narrow path of mitigation to all this chaos. I write, to share my own visceral and sometimes obnoxious journey of rebellion away from God and traditions. I write in the hope that my tumultuous Prodigal return to God could possibly save one other person from the sorrow I have been through and the steep lessons learned.
Ww. 7-31-2022.