Psalm 42:5: "Why are thou cast down, oh my soul, and why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance."
Luke 12:32, "Fear not little flock, for it is the Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom "
One definition of the word "waylaid ": "to await and intercept unexpectedly."
God is an expert in doing this...in a disguised manner of moving His children forward along the path of faith and spiritual development. Yes, God, I agree, I have to grow, I have to develop...but can't it be TOMORROW?? (" Nope")
What a "combustion" of opposites...Papa God, Who never loses...and myself, who seldom wins.
HOW CAN THIS BE??? How can He love and cherish this mess of me? For so many in financial lack, self worth is the core of the roughness of soul and spirit.
Living in a battle territory mindset for decades, "head down in survival mode" can very much shade one's view of the world. Narrow tunnel vision, indeed. I seldom look UP! The only breakout is through divine power, as I sure can't do it myself...
I am long-accustomed to defeat and giving up. Arguing is with others, not self…and I do not even effectively advocate FOR myself, as I still so often feel inadequate to the demands of the material realm. I feel things so deeply as an empath, and overwhelmingly, I am a child of the spiritual realm.
I have to be (spiritually) shoved in order to "get" some things. This is not like the "2×4" whack my Pastor says he needs, to get a message from God...but for me, not a tiny tap either. God is prying me out of "hidebound" and what an adventure...one I know I need but still resist. Stubborn, one of thy names is Wendy Elizabeth Williams!
I attended a double-whammy Christian event this last weekend, January 4 and 5, 2025, with a rowdy praise and worship gathering on Saturday night followed by an extended Sunday service of exhortation for the battle of SPIRITUAL warfare we are experiencing in 2025. I clearly heard Holy Spirit tell me Saturday night, "Arise, beloved W.E.W., sorrow is no longer your realm." Then the next morning with Sunday service, I get a God-word from a lady who said " come up out of the trench".
God essentially "waylaid" me and as usual, He does know the needs of my soul, on my day by day journey back Home to Him and His Son. After surviving my 35 years of running from God as a Prodigal to my Christian faith, I no longer ignore God. I have learned the hard way that God actually KNOWS things and has good plans for me, to help me use the gifts He gave me, gifts of words and administering things. I don't need a "life coach", I have God!
OK, OK, I get it...now how to do this after all my myriad failures and living a very low-beam life?? I am no conqueror but a survivor.
I spoke in a recent post about "tending the mountain instead of conquering the mountain."
I am a natural "caretaker" type, a one who tends and monitors things behind the scenes, observing what makes things go. I tend the forgotten details of things, the hidden details run roughshod over by the roaring herd. I call this being "hidden in God's covert." The herd roars by and much is missed. The ones who tend, deal with details.
It seems half the battle is simply getting the Operating Instructions correctly! Reading the instructions upside down, backwards or the wrong sheet to begin with, that is not the greatest of ways to win any battles. With my nature not accustomed to winning, I sometimes don't even get out the gate...and tend to camp out in the...trenches. Well, kids, trenches are DEFENSIVE mode, not battle mode. Yes, sometimes one must retreat...but I have spent most of my life of 72 years, in retreat, not in the battle but just survival.
Slow-beam, low-beam, I know it all. Some people thrive in the spotlight. I do NOT. No, living in a trench mindset is not fun...but I am perversely comforted by what is familiar. (Anyone else know this???) I know where all my stuff is and I know how to maneuver in survival mode and I am good at it...but no, God has other plans for me. You cannot argue with God, I have tried..and failed.
Those plans are between He and me....but hanging out with Him for the last 7 years with notebook and pen nightly, pouring out my heart, being transparent with Him, repenting quickly when I miss it, allowing God to crack open just a tiny inch of the window of my life, allowing a sliver of sunshine in...and I am still here. Amazement of amazement, I am still here. Breathing, walking, praying, writing, sometimes not doing that well but still moving, this in itself is my own Wendy miracle. For so many of us trapped in sorrow and grief status, breaking into the sunshine is actually terrifying....my flaws will be revealed, the light is too bright...and yet God tells me over and over and over again, "Wendy, hold my hand and don't let go."
If nothing else at this point, I will not let go.
Wendy Elizabeth Williams January 10, 2025
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Your insights are amazing. Yes, it is HARD to adjust to the light. A holy and terrible journey.
Dear God, haven't I grown enough? (Me. All the time.)