A BROOD WITHOUT CHILDREN

The War Within

• Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

  John 10:10: “The thief cometh not but for to kill, to steal and to destroy. I am come that they might have life and they might have it more abundantly.”

• I have a snapshot of my brother Tom, during the months he served in Vietnam in 1968, the only dear photo I have of him in that time. He did not have a shirt on and looked thin in his army olive green, his lower arms very tanned. His small smile was hauntingly poignant and still rests in my memory. His searing death a few months later truly set me on the warrior rebel path for decades, to my own great distress. My sorrowful lashing out did not heal my brokenhearted state.

• From my view of the world after 73 years of life...I think all people have elements of war in them. Mine would be as a cantankerous, irritable and sharp-tongued rebel, still simmering with too much cynicism and profanity. I did not bear children and I brood too much!

• I am certain each of us ruefully recognizes our unpleasant tendencies.

• At large, it seems the world itself is always at war. From the four directions and seven continents, the residents of this world seem dedicated to strife more than agreement.

• As one who never went through a physical war, I still call myself a type of warrior, observing and deeply considering the condition of the world. I do see through at least some of the subterfuge of the world, based on my many years of street-smart direct experience of 31 years living in San Francisco.

• My own hipster Boomer generation had a very unpleasant Vietnam War shoved on us, which tore us to shreds and one in which I lost a dear older brother in 1968.

• Do warriors brood or ruminate?? Is that too much introspection and not enough blood?? I’m a different kind of warrior, with too much simmering and not enough action in the physical realm. “ Stuck in my head”, am I.

• Holy Spirit sends some mighty interesting clues and nudges along my path when I am simmering over a writing piece in the first glimmers of idea- making. Pen or keyboard locked and loaded, Sir, and pushing up through through the snow like a crocus in very early spring ...immense wonder at life through the cold, defying the frozen ground, these are my tools of writing.

  How do humans endure the scourge of war, the disastrous haunt that has plagued us for thousands of years? Power is a corrupting evil, absolutely.

• I came across some very visceral movie clips, in my meandering search for ideas. These subjects are not what I would naturally be drawn to and hence, the sense that Holy Spirit sent them across my path.

  These included very bloody YouTube clips of a movie called “ Sisu, Road to Revenge” about Finland in parts of WW2...ancient tribal battles wrought over blood soaked lands, the dirt crammed with death and destruction. Brave people fighting for their lives, “refusing to die.” Clips also from Schindler’s List...staggering evil assaulting the land. Holy Spirit sometimes makes me laugh..and sometimes, He shows me some stern reality of sinful human beings. Writers can become reflectors of good and evil as well.

  My early youth was shattered by my both my mom’s sudden death and my brother being killed in Vietnam two years later, in 1968. In the words of Christ...” the thief cometh not but for to kill, to steal and to destroy. I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly.” What an immense contrast!

• I have been steeped in sorrow since age 14. Is this the human legacy...

  kill or be killed... .conquer or die??

  No wonder I long to go Home...

• Oh small crocus, brave humble winter-spring flower shoving so brazenly up through the snow....a heart to live...I need inspiration to keep on through my discouragement and depression at the human condition, mine included!

  THAT is why God sent Himself in the form of His Son Jesus Christ...the intercessor for wounded and sorrowful humanity, including this blunt Oregon girl!

  Self-simmering can become a well too dry and barren, stuck in thought.

• Not being a mother, I have the birth of sorts that flows from my pen and keyboard..the longing for beauty, symmetry, divine order, consolation, refuge, a hiding place, a sharing of hard lessons learned, in the hopes that I can spare someone else some pain, the daily fellowship with the One Who created me.

  I used to watch TV shows in my childhood, shows that portrayed World War Two, dramas such as Combat and The Gallant Men, and ridiculous comedies like McHale’s Navy and Hogan’s Heroes, portraying the Germans or Japanese as being dimwitted or stupid. They were far from stupid. The marketing machine did not stop to consider the reality of war.

  When I consider it, much of life is warlike: growing up in the rough jostle of childhood, competing for attention from family, friends, acquaintances, seeking to find our way through the maelstrom of humanity and elementary school. Adolescence is the torrent of seven years, 13-19, in between childhood and young adulthood, a calamity at times, with puberty, jr. high and high school, the struggle for self and “place.” Adulthood brings stern realities of higher education, work, structure, marriage and children, financial demands, “crush the competition.” The acquisitive nature of the world of business is also the stomping of sensitive souls.

  I guess part of my sensitive warrior path is to be a ferocious advocate for the brokenhearted, especially the poor...what I have had decades of personal practice with. I write what I know...being resourceful, finding the gifts God gave me (things I naturally do well and love to do,) having a Servant’s heart and a deep empath soul, being an Intercessor prayer person.

  When you work through God, He shows you the way. He does not scold. He guides, He teaches. He shapes and molds. He refines gradually. He knows each of us, our strengths and weaknesses and life experiences. You actually CAN collapse on His front porch and ask for help! I certainly did, after 35 years as a Prodigal.

  He just might have some familiarity of the human soul...after all, they broke their dear covenant with Him in the very Garden of Eden He created to have fellowship with them! We have all broken God’s heart...and yet He still loves us and He sent Jesus Christ, to intercede for our foolishness. I have asked WHY, more times than I can count...and get no answer except the mercy of Papa God. How am I to absorb this massive mercy???

  I cannot comprehend. I can only put down my weapon of war (negative words, worry) and ask for help...which I do, all day, everyday and which you can do also. I am crying while I type this...and I am 100% sincere... only God and His Son can make this happen for good...deep beyond the surface platitudes. God is the real deal, despite the meandering and messy humans. Talk to Him…

  Wendy Elizabeth Williams, Friday, February 6, 2026

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