AT THE BOTTOM OF THE VALLEY LIES THE ROCK

Amidst the despair, the Anchor keeps you

Psalm 18: 35 : “Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation and thy right hand has held me up and thy gentleness has made me great."

Psalm 139:8   "If I ascend up to the heavens, you are there! If I make my bed in hell, behold,  you are there. "

God certainly has an interesting way of working deep within my soul (meaning mind, will, emotions).  Recently He took me from the utter depths of emotional overwhelm and discouragement, to a stable Rock that is His Son. 

 On a recent night of utter despair, I wanted to go Home to Heaven.

I would never do harm to myself but I was ready to give up and go Home...if only God would take me.  Fighting and fighting and fighting the material realm and its demands has taken a great toll on my soul. Being a sincere person but also being such a blasted sensitive soul, an empath who feels things so deeply, I was just spent. 

Also on that  night, from the absolute bottom of the pit, came this reply from Holy Spirit in His still small voice:  "At the bottom of the valley lies the Rock." 

That came to me, as His words always do, also as a title for this writing piece.

God's realm is not our human realm.

In my worst, in my weakness, in my sorrowful deep desire for my emotional and financial pain to be done and over...God met me with NO condemnation but with immense compassion and love.

God does not castigate or scold a repentant and broken heart.  He seeks beneath the surface directly to the heart. He does not demand immediate perfection.

He is the Father of all Fathers. He comforts, He cares, He guides, He protects, He provides, He nudges in correction.  Even in the darkest of pits, He is there, and yes, He is gentle, not the mean and wrathful God that is depicted by those who do not know Him. He certainly can display wrath but His mercy comes first, over and over and over again.

Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch citizen whose family hid Jews during the Nazi occupation in WW2, was captured by the Nazis, her whole family.  Corrie, while in Ravensbruck women's prison with her sister, saw God's profound  love ministered thru her and her sister to many who were dying but were saved to Christ, even in the filthy and crowded barracks. While Corrie's sister died in Ravensbruck, Corrie herself was accidentally released due to a "clerical error" and spent the rest of her life as a missionary at large, sharing her experience and her testimony of the power of God in all situations, even the darkest and most dire. 

God does not act as humans act. He has ways beyond our comprehension. For Holy Spirit to simply, quietly and tenderly drop this phrase onto my severely sorrowful heart, I was completely overwhelmed by His love.  This love was administered to me via a substantial number of fellow writers on Substack. This was late at night, when my Brothers and Sisters in Christ (prayer partners from my church) were asleep. I could not  burden them for prayer at that late hour and...I felt a nudge to simply write a short prayer request on Substack, as I have seen other writers also ask for prayer for a variety of things.   I was expecting a couple of "I will pray" responses.  Instead, I got a small deluge, beginning that night and into the next day and beyond.  

God, You Poker Player, You!  I have been absolutely amazed and deeply moved by the sheer kindness of people I do not even know. Some offered prayer, some offered positive thoughts, some gentle encouragement.  

I am still here, even in stumble mode, but still here. Even as rough around the edges as I am, I can feel the depth of caring as God works through human beings.

As I "flop on the couch with Papa" every night with notebook and pen and Bible, the night after that difficult emotional event, I heard God say to me, "I would rather see one step of tiny effort than all the  arrogant confidence in the world. Your agony of soul is not permanent."

While I am still a gnarly and blunt Oregon girl (residing in California), I see the workings of God in my life, in deep, slow and profound ways. The Christian faith is not only revealing of the tenderness and gentleness of God and His Son and Their incredible willingness to take each of us in whatever state we are in, dire or messy or clean or filthy, it is also a warrior faith all the way. It is not just "baby Jesus, meek and mild".  It is blunt force trauma against the dark fallen angel and his cohorts, who cause so much suffering in the world, for myself and others. Some of my troubles are self-caused and some are interference from the devil. Christ means business, no way around it and I would not tangle with Him, especially now with the veil so thin between good and evil, in the battle of all battles we are in, Earth 2024.   What Christ Himself went through, allowed Himself to take on the enormous burden of the sins of the world, as an Intercessor for each of us who will accept His free gift, this is the most stunning thing. That the very Son of God would endure this for us, I still cannot comprehend. This is not just the horror of a Roman crucifixion but the bearing of all the sins of the world, while barging into Hell and commandeering the keys of hell and of death from the devil and freeing the captives there. Incomprehensible, for me and for others.

One thing about God, He does NOT require "perfection" and I breathe a sign of relief with that because as the Apostle Paul called himself,  I am also the chief among sinners. I cannot comprehend the love of God.  I can only feel it and experience it, from the depth of the Valley in which I have spent so much of my adult life in grief and poverty. "Snap out of it" or "don't be so sensitive" or "dont feel that way", all of these admonitions don’t do a a thing for me. Being an empath is not fun, feeling things SO deeply. An empath is not just one who has empathy.  An empath is like a sponge to some degree, feeling things so overwhelmingly and viscerally. This is why I have lived so much in hiding and overwhelm.

Nevertheless, God has good for me yet to do, before I head for my Heavenly Home. I thank God for working through so many kind and loving people, I will never be the same. 

In closing, I offer this very old (300 years) Christian hymn called “Rock of Ages”, which is easily found on Youtube, just type in “ hymn rock of ages” . It is sung A Capella and is very deep and moving: Opening line is “Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee.” Also “not the labors of my hands, fulfill thy law’s demands.” We cannot earn this love, it is a free gift! Amen to that, as this is just what I have done! I have clung to the Rock of Ages, a cleft for me. For you, as well, if you will ask.

Love to all, forever,

Wendy Elizabeth Williams     5-9-2024

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Blessings!

WEW