FROM B TO Z, A BOOMER GREETS GEN. Z PART 2

The longing to be loved and desired...and the narrow ledge of it

·         FROM B TO Z:  A BOOMER GREETS GEN. Z       PART 2,

The longing to be loved and desired and the narrow ledge of  it…

To dear Gen. Z, 

I am simply following the nudge from Holy Spirit, to create 3 or 4 writing pieces, addressing your generation from the point of view of a Baby Boomer (born 1952, currently 71, as of this writing). I want to reach out with support and acknowledgement. From my own huge generation, we who worshiped youth above all else, we have something to share, not only what to avoid but that we are fellow stumbling travelers on the long road of life and we are not that different from you in many ways.

I know that your generation has had at least three generations in between Boomers and your  Zoomers (Gen X, Millenials and Gen. Z) .  For my Baby Boom generation, coming from our parents who survived the deprivation of the Great Depression of the 1930’s and the carnage of WW2, we had no deep comprehension of what they endured.  With the tumult of social-political-sexual upheaval  of our childhoods and youth in the 1960’s and 1970’s especially, we were rambunctious and pushed far too much for experimentation. We stupidly pried the protective door all the way open. Once the door was open all the way, chaos flowed in. We dived into free sex, the devil's favorite play-ground . Once we began to see the damage, it was too late to slam the door shut.  I am no prude because I follow Christ! I certainly know the longings of the human heart, as I had just as raw ones as you all may have right now. 

With the roar of youth in our ears and eyes, we see tasty morsels dangled in front of us  and we want them now!  I chased many a man with that in mind!!   We conveniently sidestep that there is a human heart attached and hearts can  be  badly smashed ( and that includes ourselves.)

I am simply and bluntly sharing the unpleasant repercussions we dredged  up in our of wildness and offering a cautionary tale with  no scolding but rather sorrow at what was unleashed onto future generations. It is just like a shooting star....flaming for a moment and then...gone. I have certainly and profoundly repented of this disastrous behavior and am following the wise counsel of Holy Spirit, to offer some hopeful help to those in their youth right now, who could perhaps use a helping hand of harshly-learned lessons.

We were blatantly lied to.  The longer the lies simmer, the deeper they fester.   Lies are fed by the extolling of more lies and creating a mountain of debris, including broken lives, broken promises and broken dreams and bodies.   When these accumulate, they begin to block the  light.  I am not telling you to not question things or to meekly obey. I certainly did not, especially with my brother's death in  Vietnam in 1968. (see part one of my B and Z series, “War”).   I simply invite you with your vibrant youth, to look at those who came before you and listen just a bit to what they sorrowfully learned, not just Boomers.  It might spare you some useless sorrow of your own. Look, dig, ask, seek, knock and listen for the still small voice to guide you.

I was very promiscuous in my twenties. I  will quite bluntly tell you that lust does not pay good wages. It is fully built and anchored on a lie, that promiscuity or lustful behavior brings "freedom" and "fun".  I tried this behavior for a decade of my life, from 18 to 28, 1971 to 1981. I paid an extremely  unpleasant price for it, including  sexually transmitted diseases, very physically painful sex for a long time, two unplanned pregnancies that sadly ended in the plague of abortion, a heart broken  so many times that I lost count, serious emotional disarray, and financial lack for decades. 

With licentiousness, someone always gets left behind. I still remember, even in the small rural town I grew up in, after graduating from high school in 1971 and marching down to the local health department to get on the blasted birth control pill, my hippie group of fair weather friends  fully dived in to sexual escapades (absolutely  NOT fun at all). Frankly, we were pressured to fit in and be "hip" (meaning "put out" whether you were attracted to someone or not).  There was one man, perfectly nice but socially awkward. In any of the few "orgies" or multiple sexual partner gatherings I participated in, he would always be left out, forlorn and sad.  None of us girls were attracted to him and refused any brief advances he would make.  I see in him, as much of a victim as the rest of us, for being shoved aside, used only for marijuana or his car and treated with disrespect, myself included.

I remember my first apartment of my own, "a "hippie house", a ramshackle (shack!)  dwelling in my hometown. It quickly became essentially a "crash pad", something I did not expect or want. I paid the rent, I bought the food, I kept the lights and heat on. I would for a brief time have a living room full of young men sleeping on the bare floor, grumbling that I would not sleep with (all of??) them!  Soon after these events, I realized I had to shut DOWN this freeloading of house, food, car and myself, and I unceremoniously asked everyone to leave. They all left, carping all the way out the door!   Cold reality,  meet W.E.W. Offering my stupid behavior so you don’t have to!

“Sexual freedom”  is a misnomer, not only for the  premise that having multiple partners brings "freedom".  This is a concept, not a reality. Real human beings are used and cast aside. I think pornography was intensively  fed out of this rebellion.  As I have written before, that fallen Angel, the devil, is an absolute master of the power of marketing.  He presents darkness as light, he obfuscates brilliantly and blatantly. He preys upon the brokenhearted, as he did to me. He is shameless and merciless.

Sexually transmitted diseases are not remotely fun. They hurt, they are very uncomfortable, they smell awful and you never quite feel clean, no matter how many showers you take. 

Abortion is also heavily marketed as  "health care."  I had two of them in late summer and early fall of 1973 when I was 20.  They were not remotely fun and I certainly felt no desire to shout about what I did.   They were painful, traumatic and plain old yucky, one in Portland, Oregon and one in Eugene, Oregon. My physical  self needed space to recover. It is not remotely a simple thing.  Just the blood and the intense sound of the whirring machine (vacuum) was a memory I do not cherish.  Yes, giving birth is also incredibly intense, something I was petrified of going through. I never did have children after those two abortions in 1973.

Not finding a man I felt the strongest bond with and having my Mom die a few years previous, so no loving Mom to help me through childbirth, I was more than overwhelmed.  I also was being scattered and incredibly disorganized, as both times I got pregnant, I was not even using birth control. First time was from a one night stand and the guy never knew I got pregnant from our escapade. Not wise. 

Jumping into bed with so many people over 10 years (at least 50, perhaps more, mostly men and a handful of women) was not the balm my soul needed. It negatively affected the rest of my life. 

We were not fully "taught " that behavior has real life repercussions.  That simply was shoved under the rug and not discussed, as that would "bring us down, dude." 

I am not naive enough to think that abortion is going away. The individual States in 2024 now decide and I agree with that.  I would strongly suggest considering a tubal ligation, if you are certain you do not want children. I think sterilization is the best long term solution, even though it has some complexities to it.  Using abortion lightly as "birth control" is not a great idea. Abortion is not easy on the body, especially repeatedly and much easier to do all you can to prevent getting pregnant. Yes, I get it, I was young once! I fully know the intensity of sexual drives...but I also know the dark side of rampant and irresponsible sex and I paid the price, so hopefully you do not have to. I will not discuss the wisdom of marriage, as that alone is a huge subject I can not only not tackle, but since I never formally married, I have no useful framework with which to discuss it.

This is NOT an admonition, Gen. Z!   No scolding here (I hate being scolded!) and considering my own flagrant misbehavior in youth, I can lecture no one.  This is more of an exhortation, a sincere call to arms to more deeply value yourself, to slow way down, to "consider the cost".  Make some better decisions and resist being pressured because "everyone's doing it."  I am not wandering into the LGBT fray at this point, for two reasons.  One is because I have less knowledge of it, even though I was bisexual for two years in my youth, 1978 to 1980. I tried, I really tried...but it did not "take" for me.

Second, I humbly believe in the power of the complimentary opposites that are male and female.  Yes, I also know the battles, essentially the wars between men and women. That is a whole other story that I cannot tackle in one piece of writing.  I just say slow down, look within, look at your soul and see the shining gem that God made you to be. There are amazing possibilities. Allow me, who made such steep mistakes in youth, to be one buffer for you to the devil's lies and simply, in your spirit, sit down on the couch with God and pour out your sorrows and hurts. Ask Him to help and ask Him to make sense of all this sadness and uncertainty. He and His Son Jesus Christ are your Advocates through this difficult and scary world. They will help if you will give them a chance! Just ASK and then listen…

As Christ said, "Come unto Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.

Wendy Elizabeth Williams, the Blunt Oregon girl,  August 2, 2024

Part 3 is to come in a week or so, on Work and finding your gifts, and perhaps one final part, 4.

—At the very least, pray for me that I am guided by God to write good and inspiring pieces that help and feed people’s souls and spirits!

—Consider becoming a paid subscriber to my “a blunt Oregon girl” Substack, at  $5.00 a month

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—Consider hiring me to do some “short hops” of writing for you and your business ( I am a sprinter by core temperament and do best with short writing). I do well in what I call “emotional-descriptive” writing. Authentic writing can be an honorable and humble selling tool to present your own work and gifts!  Very affordable.  Send me a DM on Substack Notes or leave me a message on my Ko-Fi page. 

Blessings to all! 

W.E.W.