IN DEFENSE OF "TRY"
The small unseen
1 Corinthians 1:27 : "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the the things which are mighty..."
1 Peter 5:6-7 " Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He will exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you."
" I'll give it a try"
" Try this!"
"I'll try"
"Try" is a battle word for me.
"Papa God, I have tried SO hard!" I caught myself last night, using the word "try". Battling the valley of sorrow again, (my ancient enemy...), I have tears pouring down my face. Lying on the floor to do the nightly deep lower back stretches, to keep from being "old lady stiff", I have my impromptu discussions with God every single day, some more steeply emotional then others. God listens and He gives me excellent feedback and counsel and gentle nudges of correction and direction.
For many of us who are not intensive "Type-A" humans, the word "try" is a difficult one, both good and not so good. For me, it has become a stress. I have a serious dispute with the world’s idea of "try", with trying being condemned, as the narrative means you have no game unless you climb the mountains shoved in front of you. The mean-spirited narrative is if you try, you do not "do". I respectfully disagree.
Why did the "stomping boot", the castigator, the bully, become addressed as a "motivator" to the discouraged?? Every effort counts and accumulates, even the tiny. Why is one demanded to leap the mountains with a 40 pound pack on your back?? (how about a 40 ounce one??)
All " try" means to me is to make an effort, even a small one. Yes, I recognize the narrow ledge here, the inner belief or confidence that your effort will bear some good results...but to the discouraged, being scolded and dismissed because you lack the "oomph" to make something happen, that makes me both frustrated and angry. Bullies of the world, do not unite!
As one who has long felt small and flattened by the demands of the world and who has spent much of her life in defeat and struggle mode, I get it. I profoundly get it, I feel the pain of the brokenhearted. The bullying does not work. Plain and simple, IT DOES NOT WORK. It defeats, it demoralizes, it demolishes. Not everyone is filled with a can-do spirit. Yes, a can-do spirit can be developed to some degree...but it still will present differently to different people, like myself. For me, "can-do" means do a little bit and then another little bit and yet another little bit, as even a little bit does accumulate, yes?
Finding the strength to keep going one more step, it is the little bits that work for many of us hidden folks. We remain the humble hidden, as that is our quiet temperament. While I am blunt, I am not loud.
Yet, hidden under the mud is where the gems are! The gems are of the poor, the downtrodden, the brokenhearted, the invisible in plain view, the dismissed.
I am a hunter of hidden gems...the gems hidden in the mud of disguise, the disguise of the brokenhearted, the sorrowful, the "giving up". I am intimately acquainted with giving up and have had massive struggles with that negative emotion. Giving up is simultaneously easy and yet difficult, because perhaps, hidden deep inside, there might just be a tiny spark of hope! Have I myself actually attempted to squash that hope of my own, convinced I will never make it anyway?? I am ashamed to admit that in states of deep depression or discouragement, I have actually stepped down on the spark. How very unwise...and I have reaped negative results from it. God, I am so sorry, forgive me, merciful Papa...I repent!
I am also indignant with the arrogance of the world, that says only certain people matter or measure up.
Why did Christ hang out with the downtrodden, the laboring, the heavy-laden?? Did He seek the "noble", the rulers, the dominating?? No.
He chose the opposite, as He saw the sparks in them, those so overwhelmed by the snarling of the world that they just...give...up. While it is a mixed bag, it is very visceral and real, to those of us who are not roaring successes in accordance with the world's template.
I understand the sorrow of the discouraged and defeated.
They are wounded by bullies, disguised as "motivators."
For however many years I may have left to live at age 72, I will take "flopping on the couch with Papa God."
I tell you, without the presence of God, my Cheerleader and Teacher, His Son Jesus Christ, my Savior, Advocate and Intercessor, and Holy Spirit, my writing coach and Comforter, I would not even be able to function in this world. The FREE and every-moment love and help of God is a masterful and saving thing. For those of us who have to trust in God and not in our "mighty" selves (deep sarcasm here...), God is our reliance, a "very present help in trouble. "
There is "try" and that, to me, means putting your small toe in the water or soil even a bit and planting seeds. That seed, like the mustard seed Christ spoke of, is tiny and scoffed at...and yet it grows, if nurtured and it does resonate beyond that one plant. I do not thrive with the arrogant and the loud. I thrive with the unseen realm, the brokenhearted, the sorrowful, like my life has been. God gave me gifts of words of encouragement and that keeps me flying, even under the radar...
It may be my path is to live in the valley of sorrow, to minister to the brokenhearted. I will hold fast to Papa's hand and Jesus' hand and keep going until He calls me Home.
Wendy Elizabeth Williams February 28, 2025
--Consider becoming a paid subscriber for $5 a month or $60 for one year. While I profoundly value any subscriber for taking the time to read anything I write, the paid subscribers do help me survive financially. Even small amounts help!
--Consider donating any amount from $1 on up, on my Ko-fi page at https://Ko-fi.com/wendyelizabethwilliams. You can donate one time, periodically or monthly as you desire. I am continuing my new project of shorter weekly writing pieces on Ko-fi, chronicling my life-long love of all things fabric, garments and makeup. I will provide a weekly hyperlink on Substack Notes for all who might have an interest. These are particularly close to my heart and often lighthearted.
--Consider hiring me and utilizing my writing skills in what I call " emotional-descriptive " writing. Authentic positive emotion can be a powerful selling tool to help your own business. Very affordable, no long-term commitment. Contact me here on Notes via a Direct Message or leave a message on my Ko-fi page.
--Please pray for me to keep going and to hear Holy Spirit's still, small voice!
Wendy, you have expressed yourself so well in this essay! Thank you for sharing!
I'm your age. My family and I have had extensive experience with the "bullies" you mention - these are mainly religious bullies. My maternal grandmother once consulted with a highly regarded, "spiritual" reverend. She asked him "...how does a ministers wife keep from going crazy?" Before dismissing her, he replied, "Madam, ministers wives are expected to go crazy!" She was crushed.
Here are several things to learn about these bullies...
Those in the same hierarchy or above the bullies treat each other the same way. They all bully each other. This is their experience, and generally how they were trained.
Bully "pastors" have a business to run, results to produce, and they don't have a lot of time or mental resources to spend with people who have chronic challenges. This isn't about YOU, it is about THEM!
Bullies are "TRY"ing as well! They dance on their altars of religious doctrine, practice, and training in secular wisdom, attempting to call down lightning from heaven to produce the results they desire. Your difficult existence is a challenge to their religious organization, resources, doctrines, training, and even their expectations. They are under the gun to produce results, not try. Yet, here you are, and they can only TRY to "help". This only exposes their lack of power and builds in them a great sense of helplessness. So, it even challenges their psychology.
Yes, those "weak things of the world" do confound the things which are mighty.
Your very presence provides the mighty with a choice - to put aside their own needs and expectations and focus with compassion on the one who is challenged. The mighty can choose to start listening, choose to strengthen and encourage, choose to Love. The mighty can learn much from "the weak things of the world".
From God's point of view, we are truly children. We try and try until we are able to do. This is what "practice" is!
Finally, your story isn't over. It doesn't end when you fall asleep in Christ. Your story begins anew when you stand before Christ, in your new body at his reward stand. At that time, you will learn of your real impact in this world, confounding the mighty. Your endurance is not wasted effort.
A good introspective, Wendy!!