WINNING FOR LOSERS

Up and out of the down and under

• Psalm 23:4: “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.”

• Romans 8:1: “There is therefore now, no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.”

• I never forgot the single tear rolling down his face. The man was young and looked very careworn, sitting on the sidewalk next to the ATM of a bank on California and Polk, in downtown San Francisco. I cautiously used the machine, noticing the sorrow on the man's face. Feeling a nudge from Holy Spirit, I knelt down next to him and asked if I could pray for him. He nodded yes and I held his hand, said a short prayer, asking God to help him. I reminded him there was only one of him in the entire universe with his unique gifts, life experiences and that he was needed in this world. As I finished my short but heartfelt prayer, I watched a single tear fall down his sad face. He briefly looked at me, smiled wanly and thanked me as I stood up. Tiny seed of God's love planted...

• I truly sympathize with the young man. I am not good at this hard-driving world. Despite living to my current age of 72 (and 7 weeks!), I have not thrived nor prospered in this material world. Being an empath ( one who deeply feels the world) as well as a sensitive soul (same difference), I have felt crushed by the hammer of worldly demands. "Achievement" is the touchstone and worship of the West.

• I seek God's mercy! My mind and spirit need help to fully exit the not-excellent location I have spent far too many years in, the valley of the the shadow of death, the land of condemnation. It is not a place to camp out.

• I profoundly and fully understand the torment and deep discouragement of fellow " low achievers" out there. Castigated as " useless", “ lazy", "mediocre", a drain on society, I fully "get" why people fall into despair and give up, falling under the waves. Seeking refuge in drink, drugs, sex, negative lashing out, they fall even faster. I take comfort from the fact that God repeatedly tells me to remember: "I will fear no evil for thou art with me" and " I will never leave you nor forsake you."

• The culture of the West is heavily built on a hard-driving ethos. There is sheer worship of the " achiever," the "self- made" man, as if no one ever helped them. There is hardened and cruel condemnation of those who who do not measure up to the demanding and demeaning culture. I myself can't keep up. I don't want to keep up with this condemnatory drive. It does not help me or so many others in despair.

• I saw first hand the sorrow of so many homeless when I lived 31 years in San Francisco proper, up to summer 2011 and then nearby until spring 2016. I saw them in deep sadness and grief at the condition they found themselves in. Yes, I know all the arguments, "pick yourself up and go on"...and I understand a portion of it...but we do not know what brought that person to the bottom rung, what calamities that flattened them to their car or the very streets in destitution. I know the staggering cost of even a simple apartment or room. I know the narrow ledge, as I myself came close to that very condition.

• With all of that " steaming pile" aimed at me as a sensitive soul and deep empath, I should have died long ago. But for the incredible mercy of God, I would not still be here. I have worked in all kinds of jobs in my 72 years. I have not "done nothing," but I simply do not resonate with the harsh, hard-driving competitive spirit. I have lived in the “side-weeds” my whole life.

• The older I get, the more I ask God, " Why am I here?? What good do I do for anyone?? There is so much pressure to succeed, God! Help!!"

• When Holy Spirit gave me the title for this writing piece, I admit I chuckled ruefully. Deepest sigh emerging from my soul..." ME, WIN??? " Other than basic survival, I can count on one hand the times I have really won in life. I ran the 50 yard dash in 6.8 seconds in 7th grade. I made it through high school not in total failure, several A's and a B average. I made two A's in the one year of college I stumbled through, passed my drivers test on first try, passed the real estate license test on first try. I'm alive, despite all the unwise risks I took (see my Substack!!)

• Holy Spirit also told me this, as He gave me the title for this writing piece: "Wear the devil down with gladness of spirit, he hates this and flees from it." Wow...is this beating the devil at his own game?? Since he is the ultimate bully and cheat, to beat him is huge!

• I am not accustomed to winning. Coming out of decades of defeat, the mindset of discontent...can I do this? Can I do this?? CAN I DO THIS??? Well, I will say that Papa God is nothing if not persistent, relentless, focused, determined when it comes to pursuing and helping His children come up and out of troubles and grow through them every time. I used to say "don't play poker with God! He will win! “ As He wins, He will hand His kids the prize! No One else would do that!

• God is the Great Teacher through His Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit recently asked me to re-read The Silver Chair, one of C.S. Lewis’ books from The Chronicles of Narnia. The characters are given a task to seek out a lost Prince. He is indeed found and rescued, from captivity in a place ruled by a sorceress, and the place is called “Underland”. As I said, God, the Great Teacher! As I labor to exit the Underland, He teaches me ways to do it. He tailors teaching to each of us as individuals.

• Why did Christ minister so deeply to the bottom rungs of society, the poor, the despairing, the deeply wounded, the grieving and sorrowful, the forgotten and demeaned? WHY indeed,? This is a question I have asked countless times since grief hit me so hard in early teens with sudden deaths of two immediate family members.

• Why would God give me the assignment of "encourage the discouraged"??

  It must be because I know the feeling of discouragement so intimately.

• I do not resonate with " achieve achieve achieve."

  I resonate with " Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.", from Christ’s words in Matthew 11:28. Please understand that I do not condemn the "achievers", as people are certainly free to push themselves as much as they want to. I just do not want to join the tumult. It's exhausting.

• Here are several ideas that came to me and ones that I use myself, in my simple attempt to find some grounding and order in my life:

  --1. Keep moving, even if one step!

  --2. Resist the urge to camp out in sorrow ( not fun, does not help)

  --3. Forgive yourself and others quickly, don't simmer or ruminate on trouble

  --4. Give yourself a break and stop the self-castigating

  --5. FIND YOUR NATURAL GIFTS AND USE THEM! If you are simply not good at something, perhaps do not pursue it!

  --6. Start small! God recently told me, "do one thing for 5 minutes, then stop. Do another thing for 5 minutes, then stop. Do yet another thing for 5 minutes, then stop." This works for my sprinter/short hops temperament.

• The more you present sincere and genuine value to others, whether a smile, a hug, a moment of encouragement or an authentic item of help, the more some good can come to you. These are tiny steps and they actually DO add up. (this surprised the heck outta me, this recovering snarky cynic!)

• All these tips are aimed at those of us overwhelmed by the hard-driving world, those of us who have given up or nearly so. The hard-driving of the world seem to have their rewards. These are for those of us shamed and condemned for being "mediocre" or the dreaded "normal". I have utterly NO problem with "normal", in fact, I find value in it, as it encomapasses most of us. Indeed? It seems that some "achievers" mock the "normal." Well, I am not inviting you to my party!

• I reject that shame 100%. My achievement is to survive and to attempt to use the gifts God gave me. God has told me more than once, "I did not call you to be a titan of industry!" I may not have huge sums of money or power or influence, but I have my salvation, the most important gift ever. That will sustain me even when the material realm is over.

• Wendy Elizabeth Williams December 27, 2024

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• Please pray for me, that I fully hear the still-small voice of Holy Spirit, Who is my writing coach!