"YOU HAVE TIME TO GET THIS RIGHT"

A Jolt in Mortality

• —Isaiah 40:29 "He gives power to the faint: and to them that have no might, he increases strength." 

  —Psalm 103:5 "Who satisfies thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's."

•  A week ago, November 13, 2024, I had a rather difficult lesson  in physical realities, especially ones that impolitely (how DARE they???) remind me of age and repercussions of eating things that perhaps do not agree with my delicate sensibilities  (deep sarcasm...) Donuts, fats, this rant is for you! While I no longer gorge on sweets as I did in youth, I still have a vulnerability to them, with strong sugar cravings.

• God is merciful, loving, kind, gracious... and sometimes stark. He truly tailors His counsel to each of us, to our strength or  vulnerabilities .

  He created us, He knows us in our pros and cons.  

• For the past 2463 nights, I have " flopped on the couch with Papa" in nightly fellowship with God with a notebook and a pen-- sometimes pouring out my heart and soul, sometimes just listening deeply to His words and always writing down His counsel, love or nudge of correction. He knows where I have failed a myriad of times.  He somehow sees the beauty and not the yuck... and yet He knows the path I must tread to access the beauty and not the yuck.  Heck, I need an owner's manual...(oh yeah, the Bible...)

• The Christian faith is a Warrior faith all the way. It is both blunt and tender. It is both incredible and incredibly difficult, asking each of us to directly confront the dark corners of behavior that we...do...not...want...to. We do have God and His Son as daily advocates to walk this rough road with us...but it is still not at all easy.  God is not a "taskmaster", standing over us with a stick, demanding fealty and immediate bowing and scraping. He is in partnership with us and while He wants our input, He also allows us to make mistakes, fall into the same ditch we fell into before...and then pulls us up and out yet again, willingly sitting down with us and reviewing why we made this repeated mistake. This is His method of teaching, at least for someone wired like me . This is called "mercy" and I am one who desperately needs it. 

• As I begin to enter my Elder years, it appears to me that every single unwise thing I have done in my entire life...shows up on my lovely "golden years" (WHO made that name up???) doorstep and politely (yeah, right...) knocks (well, BANGS) on my door and says "remember ME???"   I murmur that "I can't hear you, depart, you, posthaste!" I  claim to not remember the "ME" but what a pack of my own lies! These "ME" persons do not politely go away and do persist in hanging around, ruining my party ( MY party, I did not invite you,  remember???).  

• Sigh.

• Having much rebellion in my past and having not done well in being obedient, this has its repercussions, I promise you. I would like these repercussions to LEAVE but they refuse to get off my couch!

• Every unwise meal eaten quickly, every abuse of food, every person I jumped into bed with, every drug or alcohol I swallowed to kill the pain for a few...now sits in my living room, otherwise known as my body, both mind and physical self.  

• I had a gallbladder attack this past week.  I am not one of those Elders who constantly talks about my "gettin' old" ailments. We all have physical realities, regardless of age. I have had three  events since Sept. 2021 that deal directly with my gastro-intestinal system:  a duodenal ulcer in Sept. 2021 (likely too many years of Excedrin use to get rid of headaches and affecting my belly), diagnosed with gallstones in May 2022 and another gallbladder "attack" in Nov. 2024. This involved some abdominal pain and some nausea and vomiting and while not staggering, it was not remotely fun. I ended up in the Emergency Room, where I happened to be treated by the same ER Dr. I was helped by two and a half years previous, where he gave me the same advice: have gallbladder removed.

• Oh joy!   Not...

  I really do NOT want organ-removing surgery!!! I have heard some negative things from those who regret having that surgery.

• I am having a crash course in WEW anatomy chapter 999,999 and while it is certainly illuminating, it is not fun seeing cause and effect.

• A few nights after this painful event, in my nightly "flopping on the couch with Papa", I was fervently praying for  God's counsel to me on this health difficulty. God spoke directly to me with incredible kindness, mercy and yet a more serious and stern tone I have not heard Him use with me before. I did not expect to even survive to elder years, much less deal with physical realities. He has other ideas!

• God told me this: "I created you and I know your body and your vulnerabilities. You have time to get this right!....and yes, there is a spiritual component to the physical belly.  The belly is your ENGINE and an engine needs ballast and fuel, not worry and fear and tension....When you cry, your belly tightens up. Decades of this has affected your center and your ability to prosper. I am teaching you deep deep deep relaxation and the great joy that comes from resting in your  Papa."

  Whew and more whew!

• OK, God, message RECEIVED loud and clear. I have spent so much time in my life in emotional distress, crying, overwhelmed, with negative thinking, struggling 24/7 and in deep despair. I am thoroughly amazed I have lived to 72. I do not want a repeat of the gallbladder attack and while I certainly did begin to change what I ate from the first gallstone diagnosis in May 2022, I obviously need to fine tune this. I have already begun and am doing daily research on my physical self as well as deeply seeking God's counsel on all this. No pressing “ignore” here whatsoever.

• For Him to simply say "you have time to get this right"... was both an encouragement and a blunt force warning that life in this material realm is temporary and I will at some point, be called Home. I am not one who seeks to live to 100...but I know God has given me work left to do and I want to do that.

• Join me in flopping on the couch with Papa and pour it all out day by day. I do not know what He will tell you...but I know it will help you as well. Life truly is "one day at a time" and it actually works well that way.  Following God and His beloved Son  Jesus Christ, Who walk the road with you daily, is a most excellent way to get through this material life and into Eternity with them! The are not only your Heavenly Advocates, They actually KNOW things!

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  ---Pray for me that I fully hear Holy Spirit's dear voice of counsel. He is my writing coach!