"Weary is what I am, longing for battle to be over and Home to welcome me..."
This statement is sooooooo relatable. There have been times where I have had to confess to Papa how exhausted I was and that I so wished to just come home. To enter that place of ultimate rest. But in His love and goodness, He reminds me that I would miss out on His fullness and goodness if I bail out too soon.
So like you, I press into Him and keep going. Finding rest in Him while still in the midst of such tension and struggle. David has become the picture that I needed to teach me how to run to Him when I screw up. Previously, I ran from Him in shame. Having learned that shame can only exist in darkness, I now run to the LIGHT to be set free from the clutches of shame.
Amy, I always appreciate your term “rawthentic”. That is an excellent term and does describe myself and you! Life is hard on all of us, whether we follow God and His Son or not. With God, however, we do have a place of refuge to run to. I also get help from King David in the Psalms, who no matter the rant or mess-up, always ran right to Papa for help. He was raw but real and that is what I endeavor to do. Bless you, dear Amy, for recognizing that need for all of us to run TO God instead of running in shame. I did that and am still recovering even at 72…but I still hold fast to the only One Who can help me. Wendy
Dear Wendy Elizabeth,this one of your essays touched me to the core,please believe me,I felt the pain to my heart as I read it,one element in your story of that letter hit home to me. This is why a lot of people have difficulty excepting the "Our Father" idea of God. In my case if GOD is unconditionally loving,protective and giving he'll have to be "Our Mother" but maybe he/she is anyway. Thats appalling to the nth degree that you lost your Mum at such a risky age and double unlucky in the age,the zeitgeist of that time,an era when the overt and obvious spiritual wickedness of today was being slipped in by,then,covert means. But just because I can clearly see what's going on when still the majority can't,people are SO DUMB!!! but that doesn't put me above the problem. I'm part of it and might even be on the wrong side. So thank you for your insights that must hurt to write but you are guiding people. I have recently adopted some changes to my lifestyle that now give me a sense of calm and peace. I think the media images we all grew up with when "the media" was one vast thing albeit in many forms but all promoting the same idea or even ideal got inculcated deep into our psyches and it's hard to reject and turn from them when just identifying them and recognising it's not how WE think or feel but ideas from outside we've been indoctrinated into us from infancy. Maybe it's good that I,me personally,don't have that sense of Blessed Assurance. I'm not God. I can't put in an order!
PS. My Dad wasn't bad person,it was EMOTIONAL DISTANCE. Actually very cruel. People used to say "Mr Baker,he's a Perfect Saint",and I used to think,well you try living in the household of a Perfect Saint then
Jane, you are welcome to ramble on as you need to. The image of the Father God has been maligned and trampled, as if God the Father is only a bully and meanie. He is NOT. God designed both male and female for humanity to keep going, without union of male and female, there would be no life. I struggled with the same image of God in my younger days…but since Christ Himself referred to God and “Father”, I accept that. Papa God has been nothing but merciful to me in my wanderings and years of rebellion and called me back relentlessly for all the 35 years I was away. I am on my face with gratitude for my return. God is good! Bless you, Wendy
This is wonderful. I love how raw and honest you are.
I too, just saw The Return and reviewed it for a local radio station. The beauty of such classic stories is that they leave room for the divine and unseen to speak to us in a language that makes sense to our limited brains.
Thanks much, Selina! I know you enjoy mythology as well! I remember a 9th grade class and book on Greek and Roman mythology. I think mythology speaks to our human realities, the eternal battles between good and evil. Odysseus likely endured so much of the horrors of war, even in "victory" and saw his good men fall one by one. I have two family members who have died in war. The scars never completely heal...but one has to go on. Odysseus finally stumbled home, broken and battered.
Holy Spirit is always my writing coach and He will offer me a title and some inspiration along the way for my weekly pieces. I was so moved by the movie The Return and it truly resonated with my raw and primal nature. The scenes at the end, where Odysseus composes himself and looks at the bow thoroughly, preparing to shoot the one arrow...( and then dispatch many of the awful suitors), spoke so deeply to me. I have been vulnerable to wide spikes of emotion all my life and seeing this scarred and weary warrior taking the time to PLAN his shooting of the arrow, this was the lesson Holy Spirit had for me. Thank you again, Selina, for taking the time to read my recent piece. I also made a comment on your recent writing piece. Blessings to you, Wendy
As they say, we are "strong at the broken places." Reading about your discovery of the letter made me realize that we never know what's in someone's past, what they've seen or heard, what they're carrying around inside of them that has affected their life. Great piece, Wendy.
Jan, forgive my tardy response to you, I greatly appreciate your comment! I have never shared the shock of that letter my Mom carried in her purse, of all places…obviously her trauma as well. I know you write about the awful things you endured in your childhood…NOT OK, not ever. It has to be the mercy of God, that any of us survive to get older! Bless you again for your words of wisdom! Wendy
A total gem of a piece. Thank you for your hard work!
Many, many thanks, Joan! Your comments always feed my spirit! W.E.W.
Your essays are always riveting. Thank you.
A sincere thank you, Jessamyn, I try so hard to be an inspiration to people! Bless you!! Wendy
"Weary is what I am, longing for battle to be over and Home to welcome me..."
This statement is sooooooo relatable. There have been times where I have had to confess to Papa how exhausted I was and that I so wished to just come home. To enter that place of ultimate rest. But in His love and goodness, He reminds me that I would miss out on His fullness and goodness if I bail out too soon.
So like you, I press into Him and keep going. Finding rest in Him while still in the midst of such tension and struggle. David has become the picture that I needed to teach me how to run to Him when I screw up. Previously, I ran from Him in shame. Having learned that shame can only exist in darkness, I now run to the LIGHT to be set free from the clutches of shame.
Thank you for your rawthentic writing.
Amy, I always appreciate your term “rawthentic”. That is an excellent term and does describe myself and you! Life is hard on all of us, whether we follow God and His Son or not. With God, however, we do have a place of refuge to run to. I also get help from King David in the Psalms, who no matter the rant or mess-up, always ran right to Papa for help. He was raw but real and that is what I endeavor to do. Bless you, dear Amy, for recognizing that need for all of us to run TO God instead of running in shame. I did that and am still recovering even at 72…but I still hold fast to the only One Who can help me. Wendy
Dear Wendy Elizabeth,this one of your essays touched me to the core,please believe me,I felt the pain to my heart as I read it,one element in your story of that letter hit home to me. This is why a lot of people have difficulty excepting the "Our Father" idea of God. In my case if GOD is unconditionally loving,protective and giving he'll have to be "Our Mother" but maybe he/she is anyway. Thats appalling to the nth degree that you lost your Mum at such a risky age and double unlucky in the age,the zeitgeist of that time,an era when the overt and obvious spiritual wickedness of today was being slipped in by,then,covert means. But just because I can clearly see what's going on when still the majority can't,people are SO DUMB!!! but that doesn't put me above the problem. I'm part of it and might even be on the wrong side. So thank you for your insights that must hurt to write but you are guiding people. I have recently adopted some changes to my lifestyle that now give me a sense of calm and peace. I think the media images we all grew up with when "the media" was one vast thing albeit in many forms but all promoting the same idea or even ideal got inculcated deep into our psyches and it's hard to reject and turn from them when just identifying them and recognising it's not how WE think or feel but ideas from outside we've been indoctrinated into us from infancy. Maybe it's good that I,me personally,don't have that sense of Blessed Assurance. I'm not God. I can't put in an order!
PS. My Dad wasn't bad person,it was EMOTIONAL DISTANCE. Actually very cruel. People used to say "Mr Baker,he's a Perfect Saint",and I used to think,well you try living in the household of a Perfect Saint then
Too long rambling as ever. !!!💌
Jane, you are welcome to ramble on as you need to. The image of the Father God has been maligned and trampled, as if God the Father is only a bully and meanie. He is NOT. God designed both male and female for humanity to keep going, without union of male and female, there would be no life. I struggled with the same image of God in my younger days…but since Christ Himself referred to God and “Father”, I accept that. Papa God has been nothing but merciful to me in my wanderings and years of rebellion and called me back relentlessly for all the 35 years I was away. I am on my face with gratitude for my return. God is good! Bless you, Wendy
Thank you for putting this in words.
This is wonderful. I love how raw and honest you are.
I too, just saw The Return and reviewed it for a local radio station. The beauty of such classic stories is that they leave room for the divine and unseen to speak to us in a language that makes sense to our limited brains.
Thanks much, Selina! I know you enjoy mythology as well! I remember a 9th grade class and book on Greek and Roman mythology. I think mythology speaks to our human realities, the eternal battles between good and evil. Odysseus likely endured so much of the horrors of war, even in "victory" and saw his good men fall one by one. I have two family members who have died in war. The scars never completely heal...but one has to go on. Odysseus finally stumbled home, broken and battered.
Holy Spirit is always my writing coach and He will offer me a title and some inspiration along the way for my weekly pieces. I was so moved by the movie The Return and it truly resonated with my raw and primal nature. The scenes at the end, where Odysseus composes himself and looks at the bow thoroughly, preparing to shoot the one arrow...( and then dispatch many of the awful suitors), spoke so deeply to me. I have been vulnerable to wide spikes of emotion all my life and seeing this scarred and weary warrior taking the time to PLAN his shooting of the arrow, this was the lesson Holy Spirit had for me. Thank you again, Selina, for taking the time to read my recent piece. I also made a comment on your recent writing piece. Blessings to you, Wendy
As they say, we are "strong at the broken places." Reading about your discovery of the letter made me realize that we never know what's in someone's past, what they've seen or heard, what they're carrying around inside of them that has affected their life. Great piece, Wendy.
Jan, forgive my tardy response to you, I greatly appreciate your comment! I have never shared the shock of that letter my Mom carried in her purse, of all places…obviously her trauma as well. I know you write about the awful things you endured in your childhood…NOT OK, not ever. It has to be the mercy of God, that any of us survive to get older! Bless you again for your words of wisdom! Wendy